I am 79 years old and without family except a nephew who lives a 6-7 hr drive away. I use a walker outside my apartment because my balance is poor. If I fall I cannot get up alone due to knee replacements. I've had more than one cancer surgery in the past but am otherwise well and independent (but slow) in ADLs. However, I am so frustrated since I lose things daily (e.g. scattered phone numbers written in scraps of paper (I don't own a desk), my keys, my checkbook. I cannot do simple math nor follow my financial affairs on a computer, let alone compile everything for my tax accountant! I'm well-educated and sometimes I speak well, but often cannot recall familiar words or whom I've spoken to lately or regarding what.
It all seems alarmingly like Alzheimers to me. I'm a retired RN and have some professional knowledge in this area. I also failed the "clock test" a few years ago, but never followed up as I was advised by a visiting nurse whom I can't remember. Now I'm scared, feel like I'm barely hanging on. BUT nobody else I know seems concerned! Am I really hiding it that well? Or does no one else want to, or know how to, help me? My nephew is on my checking account and has a financial POA which he has never seemed to recognize a need for. I'm afraid of running out of money just to live anywhere.
Can you suggest any plan of action for me?
Dosmo, something else occurred to me. Have you had any recent blood tests and if so, were your values low on any of them, especially hemoglobin? I find that if I don't really balance my food intake, my physical and mental functions deteriorate quickly.
The last time I had to draw a face of a clock during a yearly physical, I quickly glanced over to my watch as I couldn't recall which arrows sizes were used for the hour and for the minutes :P
The bank I use recently changed over the format for their monthly bank statements. Actually it is easier to use. I know I could check my balance on-line but I rather not have on-line access.
It's all this digital stuff, with ugly red glaring numbers that are hard on my eyes.
That might the issue there - if she hasn't used an "old fashioned" clock, it might take her more time than allotted to figure it out.
And I can also understand the difficulty with bank statements, especially if she does online banking. Maybe she could try a bank statement section by section, taking breaks and doing something very positive in the interim.
I don't challenge your observations; I'm just thinking how these same issues have affected me.
And I can attest to the difficulty of reading bank statements in small print. My eyes get a good workout squinting, which is another pet peeve - the reduction in size of many printed items, ranging from hospital consent forms to disclosure statements in purchase agreements.
What hobbies do you have? In what activities do you engage? Do you read? Do puzzles? Work math problems? Craft? Garden?
I've encountered similar experiences, thought about it a lot, and find that changing lifestyle behavior after the death of my last close family member and the stress it brought is helping me restore my brain function.
I firmly believe that, like physical exercise, our brains need mental exercise, whether it's working puzzles or doing complicated math problems.
One pleasurable activity could be learning a new language, and meeting new people in the process. You don't have to be highly conversant, just putting your mind in the learning mode will help.
Join a book club, even an online one if you're not able to physically get out easily. Visit a Senior Center, meet new people, and take some classes, just for fun and to meet new people. In fact, the art of getting acquainted is an excellent brain exercise in itself.
What hobbies did you used to do and still can do? Which of them will stimulate your mind?
Start with one new activity, something you enjoyed doing, and pursue it. When your mind starts fogging up, take a break.
I remember when I was in college and was discussing this issue with a friend in law school (we were in our 20s). She observed that sometimes she "meets herself coming and going." This was after I shared that I felt as if my brain was being scrambled, in what I later learned was a superconductor.
I still feel that way, especially when I think back on the challenges and anxiety of caregiving, and when I allow myself to become frustrated over the lack of accomplishment now. So I take a break, read the English Garden magazines, and my mind starts soaring again with plans for new garden beds.
Thinking is sometimes like running; you have to start at a moderate pace and work up to another level.
BTW, I'm in my mid-70s.
Still, Garden Artist, I know you can do that clock. So I am worried; I need her to check this out so she can, if nothing else RELIEVE her mind of it, and go on.
IF your nephew doesn't want to manage things, it would still be nice to be closer, and a bank or a fiduciary can be appointed to manage finances. That would be better, if costlier, than his doing it, especially if it is not clear what things there are. I hope you know where old tax forms are. They can help enormously. You need someone to help you just go through and file things for you right now. That can be done by an organizer, even.
Dosmos, Private message me here any time if you just need to talk.
I am so sorry you are going through this, and are so alone? Are there FRIENDS in the mix? Even that would be an enormous help.
The trick for keys and checkbooks is to place them in the same place each time. You can try saying out loud "I am putting my keys on __________". For some reason that helps with remembering.
As for failing the clock test, I bet the younger generation who have grown up with digital clocks cannot draw a clock by memory. For me, I rather have a clock face as I can judge quicker how much time I have left to go somewhere.
Oh, doing math in one's head, forgetaboutit. So many of use grew up with calculators that doing math in one's head is a lost skill. I'd be so lost without one.
When I was helping my parents, in their 90's, and needed to learn everything about Alzheimer's/Dementia just in case, I found myself over-sensitive should I forget someone's name, date, place, yada, yada, yada. I tend to freak out.
Then I had to keep reminding myself that being in the 70's means my brain is like file drawers, all those drawers are filled, some info misfiled, thus it takes us longer to find the info we need :P
For the tax accountant, get yourself a large legal size envelope and stuff everything that the accountant would need. And add to it during the rest of the year. If the item in the mail says "tax information", I don't even open it, just shove it into that envelop.
I must tell you that anxiety, to my mind, is the worst enemy a failing mind can have. Since my brother went into assisted living his mentation is about 100% better than it was before; since I manage his trust, his bills, etc. his mind is so much more alert that I wonder WHY I am struggling along to do it. Anxiety is what a lot of your stuff is sounding like except for the "cannot do math" and the "failed the clock".
So step one. Bite the bullet. Off to your own doc for the referral.
Step two, get the test. Tell them exactly what you just told us. Can't do the math and can't do the clock (because honestly NONE OF US can find our danged keys and checkbook!).
OK woman. There ain't nothing so tough as an old RN! Get out there and get it done and then get back to us. And to your nephew as well. Make sure he is up to it and if necessary give him over the control of the purse and POA (if you trust him) NOW while you and he are ready to go together to the banks, the Social Security, and etc. because this would take a whole LOAD off your plate.
And yes, the knees and the walker are worrisome. You already know that. Are you driving? I hope not. Time to come up with a list of the assets and income. Time to look around at what is available for some future time if needed. To talk with Nephew about possibly moving to Senior living more near to him? You are right where you should be--that is to say, thinking about all this.
Get back to us. Stay in touch. Update us. I am going to worry about you until I hear more!