I am 79 years old and without family except a nephew who lives a 6-7 hr drive away. I use a walker outside my apartment because my balance is poor. If I fall I cannot get up alone due to knee replacements. I've had more than one cancer surgery in the past but am otherwise well and independent (but slow) in ADLs. However, I am so frustrated since I lose things daily (e.g. scattered phone numbers written in scraps of paper (I don't own a desk), my keys, my checkbook. I cannot do simple math nor follow my financial affairs on a computer, let alone compile everything for my tax accountant! I'm well-educated and sometimes I speak well, but often cannot recall familiar words or whom I've spoken to lately or regarding what.
It all seems alarmingly like Alzheimers to me. I'm a retired RN and have some professional knowledge in this area. I also failed the "clock test" a few years ago, but never followed up as I was advised by a visiting nurse whom I can't remember. Now I'm scared, feel like I'm barely hanging on. BUT nobody else I know seems concerned! Am I really hiding it that well? Or does no one else want to, or know how to, help me? My nephew is on my checking account and has a financial POA which he has never seemed to recognize a need for. I'm afraid of running out of money just to live anywhere.
Can you suggest any plan of action for me?
But, it sounds a lot like you are ready for assisted living instead of independent living. I know that sounds like a huge step - but it might be a huge relief to have someone else doing things for you.
Good luck, sweet lady.
Certainly ensure all legal documents are up to date and absolutely get a full checkup. The "Free" Medicare Wellness exam is anything but. Insist on a full workup. Testing for cognitive abilities should be part of a preliminary exam and if deficiencies are noted, it should result in a referral to a specialist. At the least, you will have a baseline.
If you do end up moving to be closer to family, check your MA plan for coverage. This IS one of the reasons one can change plans OUTSIDE of the normal sign up period. You mention HMO, so more than likely you will be outside the coverage area and will be allowed to change if/when you move. Have a good discussion, preferably in person, with your nephew, so you can be sure he can take on your potential needs. IF he has any issues with it (ask him to be honest!), you will need to set up alternate arrangements. A good EC attorney might be able to help/point you in the right direction.
One time I stopped to see my mother on the way to work, I found her in a befuddled state. Needless to say, it wasn't a "work" day anymore. In her case, because of so much focus put on drinking X amt of water/fluids every day, she was drinking too many fluids! Washes out the electrolytes in your system. Diuretics were not helping either. Potassium was the culprit for her. Once they restored her system with various fluids, she returned to her sharper nastier self!
Forgetting where you left items, such as keys, is very common, esp as we age. Keeping them in the same place does help. If you do misplace something, try to work out in your mind the steps you took that day, retracing activities can sometimes "jog" your memory. If you forget a word, someone's name, the name of a movie, I find trying ever harder to recall it just drives it deeper into the depths! Often when focusing on something else, it pops up. Crossing thresholds flips a switch in your brain, resulting in you forgetting why you went there! Silly as it sounds, I read about this years ago and LiveScience has some recent articles (studies) about it - I do KNOW this happens to me! Sometimes when you just throw up your hands and return through the threshold, the thought comes back magically!
Do eat a good diet. Do stay socially active. Do exercise your brain and your body (as best you can.) Word games are good. Maybe see if there are any math games too or practice your old school tables for add, subtract, multiplication, division.
As for documents, using the folder/envelope (and notebooks) are good ideas. I have to collect tax stuff for both my mother and myself and currently my filing system is stacking everything into one room. Means I have to search for it all! I have been trying to put mom's receipts (supplies/meds not provided by the MC facility) in a folder to save some time.
Checking/bank - if you use checks a lot, be sure to take the time to write down each one and how much, and force yourself to keep a tally. Using a calculator is fine. Makes it easier to reconcile with statements. Mom stopped doing this and it took me HOURS to balance her checking account (3 years worth)! I finally got it down to a few dollars and said good enough for now. I had to take it over when she started making errors on payments or forgetting to pay them. Personally I don't use many checks and rarely use cash (that flows out of your pocket too easily and then is difficult to account for where it went!) Most everything I pay by credit, using one that gives me cash back and pay it off each month. Then I can search online for payments made, if I need to. I still get paper statements, so I can search those piles in that room if I can't find it online! I also keep a monthly record of balances and bill payer payments, so I know what the bottom line will be at the EOM.
Stay with us!
One important thing with memory. Quality of sleep every night is very necessary. Gets harder as we get older. Naps are wonderful too. Medications can interfere with sleep. Also pain and worry. Hope you can get some support people to talk to at least. Try not to worry and make yourself happy. Good if you can find some humor to laugh before going to sleep. I like to watch funny cat videos on YouTube. Good also if you have some friends where you live for company. I do and I am rather popular because I like to laugh. We are all in the same boat so it is good we can accept each other as we are. Best Wishes to you!
You are more capable than you give yourself credit for.
knowing that you need to take control of your life is the first step. It is being organized enough to be able to carry it out.
The “notebook” idea is a great one! One with alphabetical tabs to be able to do the organizing for you. I found all my paper “notes” to do things were just piling up and getting lost like you mentioned.
It seems like you are computer literate so can you do online banking through your bank? I have found this to be my absolute savior. I have not written a paper check in almost a year. I no longer feel the need to “balance my checkbook”.
That alone saves me so much frustration.
I do keep both a paper paper calendar and another one on my iPad to keep my schedules. I still have a paper Passcode notebook. But I don’t adhere to a “daily” schedule anymore.
Reading is a good pastime and I enjoy going to my little library. I play solitaire on my IPad. Also read the News there too and check out what the weather will be. My family is very scattered but I enjoy “messaging” them everyday.
In reaching this age, I, like you, am beginning to realize there are more and more limits to our capabilities. It is very concerning. Some are just knowing what we can not do anymore and accepting it.
Anxiety is a a big problem with me. I find that keeping myself busy helps with that. Also keeping myself organized. I know I will need the services of a person who can come in to help with the cleaning will help also.
We just need to start somewhere and keep on going the best we can. Keep all of us informed of your progress and concerns. We all help each other here.
I use the camera on my phone to take pictures of where my car is parked or my shopping list that I always leave on my desk or in my car. I send reminders to my self via e-mail either to work or home depending on what I need to remember to do where or when. I set alarms and title them to remind me to stop at the store for something or pick someone up if it's not my normal routine.
I use calendars - at work I have a planner and use the calendar and task planner in Outlook as well as a monthly calendar that I track my staffs time off requests. I use the calendar in my phone for all personal and family appointments and at home there is a calendar on the fridge on which we all write our appointments in our designated color. When I look quick I can see that my husband has a medical appointment, the dog needs to have her medicine or go to the groomer, my son is on-call for the week and his GF has an interview.
Most importantly find what works for you.