Hi everyone. I guess what what I'm trying to ask is how do I try to deal with her being gone? I miss her so much and I feel her presence and all the memories are everywhere. She was with me most of the time I feel like a part of me is gone also. I try to keep myself busy but I get very sad at times. Any advice will greatly be appreciated ??
I don’t think anyone could be a caregiver for 4-1/2 years and not feel a loss when it stops. Add in the intimate care of a mother and it increases the loss.
The old saying, ”Time heals all wounds” is somewhat true. I don’t mean that you will forget her but today’s pain will be replaced in time by happy memories. Unfortunately, there is no way to bypass this stage except to go though it.
I agree, let yourself experience the feelings you have now so you can process them and, later, leave them behind. Believe it or not, one day your tears will be replaced by smiles.
This is the time to treat yourself well. Lean on best friends who are there for you. Allow them to help you through your pain and sadness. Stay busy when you can and focus on your future and what you want it to be.
You say you feel her presence. How wonderful! Talk to her as if she was sitting next to you. If you believe that your mom’s soul lives on in another realm, fix your thoughts on that.
This, too, shall pass. May the Good Lord help you through the loss of your mother.
At the end of her life, however, my mother was ready to go to the Lord. All her sisters had passed,my dad was gone since 1965.
My mother had had a small stroke around Easter 2013 where she could not remember who we were (my brother and I). Two weeks later she had a huge stroke and became unresponsive.
She was already on Hospice. The hospice nurse called me to tell me to come see her soon, that her death was imminent.
The day she passed I sat with her and so many thoughts went through my head- of being a little girl and having her with me, family outings, growing up, etc. So many good times. I remember holding her hand and looking at her fingernails - those nails she let me paint when I was little, that held on to my hand so many times.
I knew she was going to pass and got set for it. But here’s the thing - you are never ready, never prepared for the actual moment when you are an orphan (in my case), you feel very alone (because you are) & feel that no one will ever love you like your mother did.
A consolation for me was I knew my mother was no longer suffering. She was whole again, being herself somewhere hanging out with her sisters going to flea markets, with her parents who she loved and missed.
Yes you will have grief and many lonely days ahead. But then as seasons change you will note something that only you and your mother shared - those things will get you through.
She may be gone from this earth but she will never leave your heart. Her legacy is you - go make her proud.
The loss of a loved one is hard.
I will keep you in my prayers, may God give you all the things you need to get through this.
I'm so sorry you lost your Mom. I lost my Dad 2 years ago.
There is no "right" or "wrong" way to mourn. There is no time table. You can cry. Or not. You can share memories about her with someone. You can look at pictures of her; go to her favorite places. Or not. Whatever gives comfort. Avoid what doesn't. You don't have to "face" anything you don't want to. There are no rules.
You determine your own process. Because that's what grieving is: a process.
Grief never ends, but it changes.
It's a passage, not a place to stay.
Grief is not a sign of weakness, nor
A lack of faith. It is the price of love.
Unknown.
This forum is a wonderful place to share - to get support - I am sure it will help you to write down and share what you are feeling with the generous and caring souls here.
My thoughts are with you. Take care.
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