I have a 86 year old father with Advanced Dementia. I have 2 companion caregivers besides myself that help take care of him. He is very aggressive and threatening. His doctor told me that it is time to consider placing him in a nursing home. He refuses to listen to me about this and will not even consider it. With the Medical POA that I have and the doctor's evaluation along with APS evaluation stating that he is legally incompetent can I have him placed in a nursing home? And if so how do I do this? I cannot continue taking care of him. It has put a toll on myself and my family. I just want the best for my father. He is very very hard to deal with. I really need some advice on this situation.
Since you have proof of incompetence, your POA is in effect and yes you can put Dad in a NH. Its now what he needs and not what he wants.
So a lot depends on how much of a fight he puts up. I suggest you consult with an attorney to see what is the best way to proceed based on what your POA agreement says and what the laws are in your state.
You find out what you can about them, pick the ones you like the look of, then you call them and ask to speak to the Admissions Office. The people there will guide you through the process.
You already have absolutely every authority you need to make this happen. Including, by the way, to set your mind at rest, your father's permission: he gave you Medical POA so that you could make the right decisions for him when he couldn't do it himself. This terrible time is exactly what he prepared for in advance.
Feel better, and I hope you find a place you're happy with very quickly.
As I said earlier, it really depends on whether her dad wants to fight it. Then it's a matter of how competent her dad is, what the POA agreement says and what the laws are where he is.