Are you sure you want to exit? Your progress will be lost.
Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
Share a few details and we will match you to trusted home care in your area:
Without any specific information about your situation it's hard to make any other suggestion than to leave this situation before someone is harmed. Can you contact someone for help right now?
Meow - I understand your resentment. Many people on this forum have similar feelings, too.
If you no longer can endure your situation, you need to leave it.
You can choose to divorce your husband, or you can choose to put him in a nursing home. Either way, he'll be taken care of by someone else, and you can live your own life.
Or if you have the money, hire someone to come and take care of him at home so you don't have to.
Is there more information you would like to offer? I assume you're caring for him because of a disease or disability where he is unable to care for himself or doesn't want to. You posted under burnout instead of a particular medical condition other than diabetes and mobility issues. You despise your husband because of his disease or disability, or because of its demands on you? Or the fact that you have no respite time or time for yourself? Too many years of caring for him? Is your your resentment because of his lack of appreciation of your care for him?
Nothing can be done about his medical condition. Your care has gone way beyond your ability to properly care for him. What have you done to address the situation? Have you hired in home care? Have you sought counseling? Have you looked for a care facility for him? Have you gotten a social worker involved to access his needs? Have you expressed your state of mind to his doctor or yours?
It's obvious you can no longer tolerate this situation. Get the OK from his doctor or social worker to place him in a care facility where he will receive the proper care and you can begin to reclaim your life.
Hate is a strong word, and to wish him dead is a whole other ball game. Your husband is only 68 years old according to your profile, so realistically he could live another 30 years. If you are truly that unhappy, then you should see a lawyer about getting a divorce, as you and he deserve better. Life is too short to live in misery, and I am sure that your husband is more than well aware of your disdain towards him, and that's really not fair to him. So do both of you a favor and get your divorce proceedings started ASAP.
Meow, your profile states, "I am caring for my husband Tony, who is 68 years old, living at home with age-related decline, diabetes, and mobility problems."
From this it sounds like he has his mental faculties. Can he make decisions for himself? Can your (or his) doctor to recommend a counselor for you both?
If he has his mental faculties, he needs to support you too. This can’t be a one-way street. You desperately need support. You matter.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
If you no longer can endure your situation, you need to leave it.
You can choose to divorce your husband, or you can choose to put him in a nursing home. Either way, he'll be taken care of by someone else, and you can live your own life.
Or if you have the money, hire someone to come and take care of him at home so you don't have to.
Nothing can be done about his medical condition. Your care has gone way beyond your ability to properly care for him. What have you done to address the situation? Have you hired in home care? Have you sought counseling? Have you looked for a care facility for him? Have you gotten a social worker involved to access his needs? Have you expressed your state of mind to his doctor or yours?
It's obvious you can no longer tolerate this situation. Get the OK from his doctor or social worker to place him in a care facility where he will receive the proper care and you can begin to reclaim your life.
Please Meow321, we need more to go on here.
How can you change it?
From this it sounds like he has his mental faculties. Can he make decisions for himself? Can your (or his) doctor to recommend a counselor for you both?
If he has his mental faculties, he needs to support you too. This can’t be a one-way street. You desperately need support. You matter.