Everything is in both our name's. We are elderly and live in Florida. I created our wills on the “will and Trust” website. My husband is afraid he could lose our home if we sign wills and I die first.
One child is very rich and smart and lives 2,000 miles away and mentioned she would like our house as a winter get away. The other that helps us and lives next door is struggling. We want to make sure she is helped when we pass.
How can I convince my husband to sign/notarize the wills?
Does he have some dementia? Because there must be some reason he is fearful of wills.
Would he feel better if he saw an attorney to write up the will?
In general terms, as a spouse several times and a partner now, and after having lived 82 years, I find that there is no way to convince ANYONE to do ANYTHING they don't wish to other than sitting quietly to explain my thinking. If they don't agree, that's pretty much that. And then the daughters will have the estate divided equally when you die intestate.
You may want yourself to see an attorney to find out if there is any way that you can correct this for yourself. For instance, your home is in both your names. But there may be other assets? Savings Accounts? These can be designated as POD to one person, for instance the daughter most in need. And you will want her to have a copy of said account or CD as banks often will have the beneficiary listed, but will NOT NOTIFY the beneficiary upon your death.
Should your husband die first, of course, you can take care of this quite easily.
Make sure to ask the attorney what happens if someone becomes incapacitated and doesn't have a legally assigned PoA, or dies "intestate" (without a Will).
It's my opinion that you should be paying your caregiving daughter now so that she's not struggling now and burning out trying to care for 2 people, and have a written agreement so that the other distant sibling doesn't misunderstand why she's getting money from you. This is also a conversation with the attorney.
You must have a plan to pay for extra care, or facility care if this daughter burns out or gets sick or (heaven forbid) passes before you do. This is a thing that happens.
I have a cousin who provided 3 solid years of live-in care for her 90+ yr old double amputee Dad. He didn't pay her while alive, but instead left her his mediocre house. Her siblings are contesting this and one is suing her. You may think your kids won't do this to each other but money changes a lot of things. Pay your daughter now. This is what you saved your money for: to pay for care and not put your daughter in a hard place.
I feel as a spouse, husband or wife learn to navigate things, and issues that we pick and choose. That was the issue I picked to get done.
Now I'm picking an old ceiling issues, 😂, I keep mentioning it. Will see if I can get that done.
If a Will is written "what yours is mine" then the surviving spouse gets everything. The surviving spouse makes up a new Will naming beneficiaries.
The Elder Law Attorney can explain the importance of having a Revocable Trust (depending on the size of your estate) that will help avoid needing Probate (and taxes involved) when one of you should pass.
My parents had a Will that was older than dirt, and if they hadn't created updated Wills and a Trust, it would have been a nightmare for me, their daughter, to try to follow their old Will.
An outside, independent professional that will elicit trust in the husband - to hopefully hear what is needed. Thank you.
might be best to say you’re going your will so got papers for him as well because without a will the banks can ‘steal’ your money and there are better charities to give your money to than the bank!
the government will take your hard earned funds if you don’t protect yourself with a will and lose all to the government
Gena / Touch Matters
I would not use any documents from a website when there are concerns such as you and your husband have. An atty is your best bet