Mom is recently widowed (last month) after 68 years of a happy marriage. Mom is 88, lives alone in family home, has mild cognitive impairment.
The family dog was by my dad’s side during his last months of life and gave both of my folks great comfort. But the poor little dog is not well and actually his quality of life was already suffering a year ago. He is currently incontinent, deaf and blind. My sister and I mention that it’s time to let Winnie go. Deep down my mom is aware of this, but she is grieving the loss of dad and we cannot bring ourselves to make that decision for her. She is exhausted from continual clean up, but I think it’s offset by the knowledge that in the evening, Winnie is still by her side.
Any suggestions for this difficult situation?
Thank you.
I grew up with a friend that her granny had 3 very old, blind, deaf and incontinent dogs. The dogs were not suffering, they loved granny to bits and responded to her touch and movement, they would follow her when she moved in the house.
This is your moms dog to do as she sees fit. Euthanizing another person's pet is crossing lines that should never be crossed if they are not all for it.
I recommend trying alternate solutions to the clean up issue and let mom make the decision, most dogs are family members, gotta remember that when intervening in this situation.
In the long run, it is usually easier on the people to not wait until the very last moment. Your vet will let you know when it’s time.
My mom had a darling dog that she had since he was a puppy. When he got old, sick, deaf and blind, I begged my mother to please take him to the vet. She couldn’t do it. I told her that I knew how much she loved him but it was horribly unfair to the dog to allow him to suffer.
One day I went over to her house and she was crying. I rarely saw my mom cry. I didn’t see the dog and instantly knew that she had taken him to be put down.
I walked over to mom, hugged her and cried with her. I know that deep down she felt relieved that her precious dog was no longer suffering.
My mom was younger at the time. In your case I think it would be best if you took her dog to the vet.
My daughter had a sweet little dog that she got when she was in college. When he got sick (Cushing’s disease) she was beside herself. One day the vet told her something that I thought was so lovely.
The vet said, “I know that it’s extremely difficult to make the decision to put your dog down. Please don’t wait until you hate the dog and then come in and tell me to put your dog down. I have clients come into this office with animals that they have dearly loved but the stress of caring for a dying dog becomes overwhelming for them and they scream at me, saying that they hate their dogs. I know in my heart that they don’t really hate their dogs. They are stressed and want relief for themselves and their dogs. Please, I am asking you not to allow it to get to that point for you.”
My daughter appreciated his advice and listened to him. She cried like we all do but she had peace knowing that she did the right thing.
Oh man, I know that this is hard for you and your mom. I am so sorry that you are in this situation.
Wishing peace for you and your mom.
You have 2 possibilities. Let the dog continue to suffer and die, with your Mom finding her alone. An unforgettable tragedy.
Or as Peggy suggested, give a compassionate offer to take dog to the vet for a checkup, then tell her dog needs to stay overnight, and simply died at the vet.
Please do not allow the dog to suffer further. Winnie can't speak for herself.
Luckily it was a female so her puddles didn't ruin to much furniture. And it really sucked, not , gonna lie cleaning up her messes constantly. Mom could clean them up too. We talked to the vet and she didn't think the dog was in pain. And I tell ya I don't think so either, the dog was treated like a king the last year. Mom didn't want another dog, new it would be to much work for her. I wanted to get her a cat, then I would of taken the cat. She wanted nothing to do with anything else. She wants my dad and the pug back. So my perspective is the opposite of others. That's what is great about this ,all different perspectives
Gotta tell ya pugs from now would not be a dog I would get, after a yr of cleaning I get PTSD looking at pugs. Jk.
It's been about 2 yrs since the pug died. Took a while to get the smell out, and the bad furniture out. But I will say it was worth the work for her. There is no right or wrong way. But I'm glad we kept her going for that year
Before mom had Winnie she and dad owned a pug…same situation….i had to take the pug to the vet after finding her dead. Yes, traumatic.
thank you