This is a good question. I have been an in-home caregiver for a long time. I've worked for agencies but only take private work now. Recently I was contacted by a woman who is desperate to find care for her elderly, completely invalid mother with dementia. She wants an experienced, dependable, compassionate and competent CNA for the position. No payment for the work. Free room and board in the mother's apartment to assume the responsibility and care of her 24/7 is being offered. As a caregiver I come to expect that families will try to tug at my heart strings to get cheap care for their "loved one". After many times being taken advantage of by families, I've learned to let no amount of begging and pleading sway me where my pay is concerned. There's an old saying, 'You get what you pay for'. Yet, so many families want the very best of care for nothing or next to it. This woman was rather put out by me telling her this. Maybe this woman can find an abbey to drop her mother off at where Catholic nuns will provide her care for free Or check local homeless shelters for someone to provide her mom's care for room and board with no pay. Maybe she'll get lucky. Not likely she'll find free care anywhere else. Know your worth caregivers. We make your life possible. We make it possible for you to hold a job, have a life, go on vacation, because we take the responsibility and misery of caring for your elderly "loved one" so you don't have to. We deserve to get paid for this and paid decently for it. In-home caregivers like me save you and your family a fortune because no matter how well you pay us, it's nowhere near what you'd be paying out for a nursing home or assisted living facility.
Many people do not have the money to get the care for their elder that is needed; that doesn't mean that you, doing the word, do not need, deserve and should get a living wage.
This is the dilemma, and this is why so many end in care in institutions. It's very sad and more and more a fact of life as we are forced to live ever longer with ever less.
And expecting one person to be on call 24/7 is ridiculous.
So you get room and board? That's the most basic needs met. What about some money to pay for a haircut? Or a meal out? Or the car payment? It goes far beyond a room and food.
Even slaves were paid. Even the lowliest servant on an English manor got paid. Granted, not much, but they got something.
After caring for my Mom, I respected CNAs and felt they are not paid enough. As you said, u get what u pay for.
Extra bonus: The caregiver gets to share a bedroom with incontinent Dad who often wakes up yelling from nightmares, too!
Several of us commented that the poster's pay level was unrealistic, and she responded that "I don't need everyone's negativity -- just give me names of who I can call."
Nothing anyone could do but shake our heads and let her figure it out herself.
Stand up for yourself. I would tell them that you need to pay your bills too. I would stop the sob story in its tracks.
I think these families are many time clueless and do not want to try to get medicaid for their loved ones, and quite simply overwhelmed and dont know where to start. A live in for room and board is the simplest route if you can find someone worthwhile that is stupid enough or desperate enough to accept it.
Have you at least made an appointment with an eldercare attorney to draw up a contract so that you get paid?
One of your posts said that your parents are saving their money to pass on to children and grandchildren. And here you are, doing all the work.
you seem jaded (if the job is misery I am curious why you still do it). I am sorry you have been taken advantage of, and glad you have found your voice.
my mom is in a memory care home after I had considered some in home care support (I offered $25-30 and hour and benefits). I realized she needed the socialization and engagement and 24 hour supervision and other people around, and she wouldn’t get that at home. ... and having her in our home wasn’t her home anyhow. Her memory care home is top notch and we pay quite a bit above the average, but I believe in that old adage too... you get what you pay for.
"whenever I express any sentiment that distinguishes me from a doormat, people call me a feminist."
Chellyfla, similarly Burntcaregiver says what she thinks of people who think it right and fair to EXPLOIT her and your first thought is "so hostile. She must be in the wrong job."
Now I haven't been in this role for nearly as long as Burntcaregiver and my sense of humour is therefore intact (so far) (mostly). But within weeks of my starting with my service, clients' family members were dropping heavy hints about how marvellous it would be if they could find someone "like your team" to come and live with their parent and be her full-time caregiver. You could live in this lovely house! With our lovely mother whom you like so much! And we would *pay* you, as well....
I usually did like the lovely mother very much. But it didn't take me long to twig that such family members have usually just found out how much a reputable care service costs.