Mom moved into Assisted Living right at the beginning of March and was still adjusting when week by week things changed bc of virus, like everywhere else. Few activities, no visitors, meals in rooms, limited contact with caregivers. Understandable, noone especially,me wants anyone sick. She has mixed dementia, so good days and bad, doesn't always remember what is going on.
With no visitors, we have got her a Portal, which has worked surprisingly well. She enjoys the chats, but nothing will ever replace human contact. She's 89, and I want her grandkids and great grandkids to know her as more than on screen. Who knows how long we have with her. I see her dementia progress daily. More confusion, hallucinating people not there, looking for parents or deceased husband. And when she's "all there" she bored due to little hobbies. Her primary entertainment is social gabbing, and people watching, which isn't possible now.
She lived with me for 6 months prior to this move and I know I cant go back to that indefinitely, and if I take her out, she cant return.
Do you think that they will (or should) keep the current restrictions in place until a vaccine? A year and a half ? ??
Maybe until you can show them a negative test?
We can't be separated from loved one indefinitely.
Just a starting thought- my LO deteriorated significantly when she first entered memory care, then plateaued for several months and more recently, before Clovis 19, she had been somewhat more lucid than in previous months.
Your mom had barely been admitted before the lockdown, and actually had very little time to adjust before this next change had occurred. Every victim of dementia is different from every other, but you might be surprised to find that in a few days or a few weeks, you’ll see more of the behaviors you were seeing before the big changes. Or maybe not.
My LO and I are living in the worst hot spot in the US. EVERY POSSIBLE PRECAUTION AVAILABLE was taken to prevent the disease from entering her facility. A non-symptomatic carrier INNOCENTLY brought the virus in, and she became ill with it.
She has recovered, AT 92! As much as I long to get to her, I KNOW that the job at her facility is STILL PREVENTION. So even though I’ve quarantined, and would likely be virus free, I COULDN’T KNOW that by entering that facility I wouldn’t be bringing something in. The horrible idiosyncratic nature of this disease makes it dreadfully hard to plan around.
Please be grateful that she can see her grandchildren even in a limited way. One of my grandchildren uses a wheelchair, and he is the KING of her facility, but we know it won’t be possible for anyone there to see him until this gs lighten up around here.
I spent 3 weeks expecting to lose her. I had actually called the funeral home out of concern that they’d be able to take care of her. So your situation (I know) is crushingly painful, but could be worse. Forgive me, PLEASE, for saying such a hard thing to read.
Even where we are, I expect the gradual opening process to be within the next few months. I will have to have MY doctor’s permission before seeing her is safe FOR ME.
Sing to her, let your grands and greats sing, be silly, read and write poems, bring goofy props- whatever you think might catch her eye or amuse her.
None of us ever know how long we have, but none of can do better than our best, and in these days, that has to be within very difficult circumstances.
I expect restrictions on vulnerable populations such as newborns and elders will be the very last to be lifted.
I hope we keep restrictions in place until we have proven medications to treat the disease or a vaccine has built herd immunity. Yes, I'm talking years until we have a firm grasp on the reality of this new virus.
A negative test is not a passport; one can become infected the very next day. I expect wearing a mask to become the new normal along with temperature screenings when visiting anyone whose considered vulnerable.
Gracie, at this point I don't think anyone can really predict generally in weeks or months, or longer, not only b/c so much is unknown but also b/c politics and control are factors. Egos are as well. As is the election.
From what I've read from responsible people, a vaccine isn't on the near horizon, and frankly, I'd rather wait and have a tested and proven vaccine available than a rushed one.
I'm also trying to segue into the attitude of being glad this happened now so we can hopefully get a handle on it before the next pandemic arises.
I'm not sure negative tests are that valuable as I've also read that someone can test negative one time but positive subsequently. And there have NEVER been enough tests for everyone in the US, despite political braggadocios.
Do you have siblings, can you divide up days to call her?
I don't think anyone can tell the future, all we can do is sympathize with you.
The last few years have been tough or her, like many of people her age, many of her oldest friends have passed away. But some people from church and friends from neighborhood, and work friends have called or wrote notes
I keep hearing about a test that gives results in 15 minutes, news reports that anyone meeting with President gets one.
If that test can be made available at facilities, plus masks required, would seem to be an avenue to explore.
Pperhaps requirements different for Assisted Living vs SNF, as fragility and health are different in those populations.
Visitors who are escorted to residents room and stay there and not in common areas, limits of one visit per day per resident, limits on amount of people per visit.
Im just saying I I have a test that I got That Day that say I dont have it, and I wear a mask, and I am only her room., it should be workable,
maybe not today, but by summertime.