My 94 yr old dad has moderate dementia with Confabulation. He has created “memories” involving each of his 2 friends, and one where my husband told Dad he was taking our money and putting it in a secret acct so he could go out and play with women.
He moved into Assisted Living last month and has created another couple of stories. One was, a guy came in and dad gave him his old medical alert button, quit, and took the button (I had the button and turned it in, which he forgot).
The latest has to do with his stool softener med. since he was having diarrhea (“ever since I’ve been here”). I told him I would see about getting the dose cut down to what we had at home. Today he called me and said someone called him saying that if he didn’t take the medication he would have to leave. I really doubt it happened, but called and left a message for the nurse to double check his dose, since it was less than on the bottle (I believe I indicated the dose for him on his meds list when we moved in). She is supposed to call me back.
His MD started him on Serequel the week before he moved, and we were hoping this would help his anxiety and cut down on his false memories.
Now that he is in Assisted Living, how should this be handled? Should I just placate him and hope he drops whatever issue he has next time? Should I let the Nurse know, if it involves the facility? I think he is in a great place, but it is somewhat new, so what if something really happened and I blew it off?
Thanks
Adie
In either case, your dad believes what he's saying so respect that and offer a solution.
Confabulation is when a person with dementia makes up a story in order to "safe face." For example, if a stack of unpaid bills is on the table, when asked why they have not been paying their bills, their might say something like, "because my grandchildren were visiting and I was very busy" - even if there is no truth to the story. (The reality is that they have forgotten how to go about paying their bills - but they cannot admit that to themselves or to others.)
If the "story" involves something or someone at the AL place, it should be reported and documented, lest it come back to haunt you. Sometimes there is a grain of truth to the stories that an elder makes up.
visits resume, you will never know. For your sanity, I would support "he's in a great place."
Nice Facilities can be very nice on the outside.
It wouldn't surprise me one bit that your Dad wax tokd if he didn't take his meds he'd have to leave.
I have a 96 yr old Dad that has 24 7 Care in his own home and I caught the Cargivers saying if he didn't do this or that they would threaten him with him having to go to the Hospital. I put a stop to it quick.
No matter which home your Dad is in, there are always good and bad people working in Senior Care Homes.
If it was my Dad, I would have a Nest Camera installed in his Room, I did that at my Dad's house and so glad I did as I've caught Caregivers doing and saying all kinds of things that I had to talk to them about.
The Nest Cameras are Easy enough to do and then you can check in on your Dad any time day or nigh just by cell phone or computer.
No one ever knows when your checking in.
And the best part is it holds memory up to 30 days so if he said something just go to your Nest Sight and play it back and see and hear for yourself.
Remember, there is usually some truth about what is said and just because a place looks nice and tge people act nice to use had nothing to do with how a person acts toward your Dad.
Have a Camera Installed. You just mount a little thing on the wall and plug it in and set it up on your phone.
It did wonders for my worries and sleepless nights thinking about how my Dad was.
Consider his confabulated stories to be mash-ups of memories in his brain. He remembers that something happened with people he knows, places he knows, and events... but they are not connected correctly. As long as the stories are not provoking anxiety or fear in him, I wouldn't bother trying to correct "the story." Some may unpleasant to you - like your hubby meeting women secretly - but that usually has more to do with your dad's viewpoints than reality.
Mom always said "Well I didn’t put it there!" She said someone was coming into her room and hiding things trying to make us think she was crazy. She knew something was wrong but just couldn’t accept her own decline.
The staff is experienced with this kind of behavior, that’s why I always alerted the director and let her know that I did not suspect the staff who were all very lovely people.
Just keep in touch with the staff.
I have said that even though we grew up together, each of us recall a different aspect of an event. I listened.
There was no way that her take on what happened was true. Since discovering the confabulation, I am at a loss, still. And needing to protect my own emotions. I prefer not to talk at all to persons under the influence of anything.
I think it is a result of her self treatment with CBD and THC in high doses.
I have no voice or authority when it comes to her treatment.
Seroquel is an antipsychotic medication that is sometimes used to enhance sleep. If the MD is not a psychiatrist then I would find a geriatric psychiatrist to evaluate the medications and symptoms. Many hospitals have geriatric centers that complete a comprehensive evaluation and forward the recommendations to the attending physician for on going management. Medications can create problems as well as resolve problems. The elderly are particularly susceptible to drug reactions.
Thank you for this statement. I need a better understanding of this issue. I find myself often saying to my husband (who denies he has dementia), "That didn't happen."
I need to know HOW to go about just getting her into an mc. Any suggestions?
That said, we have brought a few stories to the staff's attention so they would know the truth. Periodically, she proclaims that she is "moving" and that would be an example of something I'd want the staff to know is not true.
Mostly of his exploits from WW2. We just listened and kind of ignored him, as he needed to paint himself as a hero.
He also worked as a private chauffeur for a private limo company for years. IN the few weeks before his death he told us he had driven Elvis to and from the venue, John Denver and a few rock groups. Here we had been hearing boring war stories for 30 years and before he dies he finally tells us something INTERESTING.
Since he didn't follow pop music, these people meant nothing to him. To my kids, he suddenly became a pop star himself.
The war stories were just self-aggrandizement. The driving stories were simply the truth as there's not much to add to "Yeah, I drove Elvis for the 3 days he was here". Meant nothing to him.
Just listen. FIL would tell the MOST outrageous stuff and we knew he was making a lot of it up, but, heck, nobody was hurt.
(Elvis and John Denver cannot compare to WWII)
As for the stories, let him take the lead, and go with them. Sometimes they can be quite interesting!
By now, you’ve probably learned that he’s past the point of being a reliable communicator, and the staff is probably realizing that too.
If he happens to be conversing lucidly on some particular topic, enjoy those interchanges with him as you would have prior to his illness, but if he seems agitated and is relating something that doesn’t seem logical, check with the caregivers that work with him, to be sure that this is in fact a result of his condition.
In any event, if he's 'confabulating' then he's making up stories. If you trust the ALF and the quality of the nursing care he's receiving, then you'll need to let the stories go, otherwise you'll go crazy trying to sort the 'truth' from the 'lies'. If I were to believe everything my mother told me, I'd have lost my own mind long ago! I kind of let it all go in one ear and out the other and only fact-check on her if I feel there is a REAL problem going on, which is rare.
Seroquel may or may not help your dad with his confabulation issues, who knows? The jury is out on the efficacy of ANY and ALL dementia medications at this stage of the game, unfortunately.
Here is a good article on the subject and how to handle it:
https://www.verywellhealth.com/responding-to-confabulation-in-dementia-97969
Wishing you the best of luck!