My husband has early onset Dementia. He desperately wants to see his mother who lives in another state 3 hr flight. She is 90 and cannot fly and neither can my husband
He has not seen her for 3 years. Over the last 7 mths he has become much worse and my son tried to organise a SKYPE with her but every time she has refused because she doesn’t want to be upset by his appearance which gives me the shi*s. As always she is controlling the narrative my husband is pretty good in the morning.
Tomorrow is Mother’s Day and his older brother will be with her. He promised he would set it up with her to talk with my husband. Now it is “try”. My husband has been increasingly anxious as tomorrow approaches. I don’t know what I will do if this evil manipulative woman refuses to look at him
Mother’s Day
I can not fathom why a true mother would care what he looked like, I would think that she would want to give him a loving look and some encouragement.
I pray she talks to him and has the class to be kind.
For what it's worth, my mother wouldn't go and see my brother when he was in hospice, she was a good mother but just couldn't handle it.
I agree that not everyone is able to handle these situations.
My neighbor who is young could not go see her grandfather just before he died. She was crying to me. When I told her to be sure that she was making a decision that she would not regret later she explained to me that she adored her grandfather and that she didn’t want the last image of him to be when he was frail and dying. She said she wanted to remember him as she knew him. I told her that I understood and did not pressure her. She told me that her mom told her that her grandfather understood as well.
I do hope for your hubby’s sake she will be able to but she may not be emotionally strong enough. Even younger people can’t always handle these situations.
my BIL spends every MD at his mother’s place and not with his own wife and daughters who also are Mothers
Before we got married my DH spent mother’s day morning with her then picked me up and he went to play football. We then went for a drink with friends. We got back to his house and his mother refused to speak to him. She was at the sink washing up. His older brother came in to the kitchen and preceded to punch my DH up saying “you missed dinner with your mother”. She never turned around. That’s who my MIL is
So happy that it worked out for your husband. I wish the best for both of you. These are tough situations to be in. Hugs!
Sorry that she wasn’t able to get everything but at least she made the effort to try. That counts for something.
I retract my statement. She is the MIL from hell!
My MIL was a sweetheart but her MIL was a demon! She saw her DIL as competition and was jealous of her instead of being happy that her son had a wife who loved him. She refused to accept her DIL and her kindness. She was an evil woman.
What horrible injustice! She was a nightmare also. My MIL and FIL had to finally cut her out of their lives. In those situations I totally understand it.