I am putting my mother in a nursing due to the fact we cannot handle all of her emotions. My siblings and I have been caring for her for the past 10yrs. What a journey this has been for all of us. It was suggested that I have her evaluated in a behavioral center first and from there go to a nursing home. I was good with that until she went into the behavioral center and I realize she would not be coming back home. This is very hard. How do I cope with this. You guys have been so helpful in all my other problems thus for. Any suggestion. I feel so sad.
kt 's mom
It is awful. It is painful. And you will want to make it your fault. It isn't your fault. It is worth crying about. It is worth mourning the loss after loss after loss that comes to us in aging the way we currently age in the world. I am so sorry for the grief, but please, in the midst of it, do not take on self judgement, nor the judgement of those who have not a clue in the world to what you are going through.
Guilt is for those who murder, who steal, who torture and who do so with malice aforethought. Guilt is not for good and decent people with limitations. Hugs out to you. There is no way to survive the buffeting of weather-front-feelings but to get through them. And then go on with a decent life. THAT is what any good Mom would want for you.
Admitting that you can not "do it all" or handle the emotions and all the stuff that goes with it is not a "failure".
When you are a caregiver the dynamics change and the relationship changes. Having someone care for her you can become a daughter and not a caregiver. You can manage her care, you can be an advocate for her.
You can go hold her hand, take her for a walk or maybe out to lunch and enjoy the time you spend with her and not worry about all the other stuff.
tkx
ktmom2004
I wish you and yours the very best in this difficult time.
kts mom