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My brother is her financial POA, is on her joint checking account, the executor of her will. She has no health care directive. I am concerned if he should die and she is incompentent, who will pay her bills, take care of her business. I have tried to talk to my brother and mother about my concerns but they just don't seem to care. My brother says, "You can just get guardianship", well gee thanks.

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Guardianship requires proving the person is incompetent. The person must actually be given notice that this is being filed and have a chance to contest it. The financial POA during the life of the person and the executor after the death of the person handle the finances. Typicaly, an alternate or contingent POA is named in case the original POA resigns, dies, or otherwise cannot continue, and the person themself can revoke the POA or change it to a different person. A lot depends on exactly how the papers are written up. So talking to the lawyer who did the papers would be ideal.

A health care POA or "proxy" would be a VERY good thing, if nothing else, so you can get information. There were many times I would not have been given any had I not produced the appropriate papers for my mom. It also formally allows someone to make treatment and end of life decisions if the person cannot. If separate people can have financial and health care POAs it may be ideal. Do you feel like you know what Mom would and would not want done in case of a life-threatening illness? That conversation, though difficult, is a lot better than having to go through guardianship, which can be a little expensive as well.

I hope that helps. And I hope I will not ever have to get guardianship of my mom....I have both the POAs and that will probably be enough. There are circumstances when you really need it to protect someone from themself or from others who would take advantage, and I also hope your situation is not one of those!
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Thanks, would like to know if anyone has had to get guardianship and what it was like. I am very frustrated.
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Hello, Perhaps getting the help you need can come from an agency that deals with such problems. Where I live there's the Tri County Office of Aging that address all kinds of problems. Such an office could direct you, or just look in your local phone book under "county" listing and see what's there such as the court system. Or ask people that you come in contact with. We also have a legal hot line where local attorney's volunteer their time and the service is free. Good luck and God Bless
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Hello....Can you avail yourself to free legal aid in your area? Check with an agency that deals with problems with the aging and ask for their help putting you in touch with someone. If no legal aid available, I would suggest you choose an attorney from the phone book listings giving free consultations. If need be, ask that person to direct you to where you could get information before deciding your next step. Gather as much info as you can before having to pay someone to help you. The best of luck solving your problem. Laurie Turner
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laurie, thank you for you input. My daughter and her husband are lawyers, my other daughter's fiancee is one also. None are elder lawyers, so I haven't approached them with these questions. I am just interested in hearing from someone who has actually done this. It seems to require alot of expense and work. So unneccessary in our situation.
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I did get guardianship of my mother. I started out by having a medicare attorney help me draw up a caregiver's contract in order to "spend down" my mother's money. She did not have a lot but this caregiver's contract is still in place. At this point I had not considered guardianship. I moved to another state and decided that it would be beneficial for me to have guardianship. I have four siblings and none of them felt that they could care for Mom. I hired an attorney and started the process. We held a hearing and 2 of my siblings came down opposed to my guardianship. They did not want to keep my mother. Their disagreement caused me to have to hire two more attorneys so the expense went up. We ended up holding two hearings and I did get guardianship. My brother was appointed conservator. I found that you never know how your siblings will react. I followed the advice of my attorney at every step. It was evident during both hearings that my two siblings were just trying to cause problems and were not concerned about our mother's care. The cost was around $25,000.
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Thank you, thank you! This is what I wanted to hear. I understand the 25K would be taken out of your mother's monies. Did you have to pay first and then get reimbursed or did you ever get reimbursed? My Mother has a great deal of money, so there is no problem with paying for all of this from her funds. That is the problem, she doesn't want anyone near her money because she has a paranoid personality problem.
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Also, there is no problem with my brother, he is honest. I Don't want to be on anything but fear since she has no back up for him, I could be in a world of trouble if he dies. He probably won't but you never know. I know she is mentally not right, I have explained all of this to her including the thousands of dollars it would cost to get guardianship and her answer is "well I'll have to talk to a lawyer about this", which she won't do. It will never be done. She has no reason to distrust either me or my brother. Just nutty stuff. But it is good to talk to someone who actually had to do this. Thank you so much.
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I did pay the attorney fees from my mother's money. If you do not have anyone contesting your guardianship, you probably won't have to pay as much. You would have to check with your attorneys if you think it will take awhile to pay them. The courts were happier having a conservator (to be responsible for my mother's money) and a separate guardian. My brother and I do work closely together although now my mother doesn't have much money left. We are required to do a yearly report. I do one as guardian and just report what I am doing with my mother now and what I plan to do to keep her safe and happy. There is a specific form that I complete and must mail it to the state, the guardian ad lidem and each one of my siblings. My brother does a report on the finances. He has to account for all activity from her account. It is much simpler now than it was when we first started. There is also a form for this and each withdrawal or deposit must be accounted for. I do keep every receipt for medicine, doctors, dentists, miscellaneous and etc. My mother was also very paranoid about her money although she did not have a lot. I hope this helps.
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If yiu want to contest a guardianship do you really need a lawyer? Can you complete the necessary forms yourself and go to the appointed court date? I don't have the money for an attorney and my sister is using my mother's money to file for guardianship. (She has the POA) Doesn't sound fair to me.
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Why is your sister filing for guardianship if she has the POA? She needs to realize that she will be under the watchful eye of the courts if she gets guardianship.Is your Mom incompetent? She will have to be ruled incompetent by the court.

As for you getting a lawyer, I don't know but would think not. For you to contest the guardianship would be a pain in the butt to your sister. So by all means contest it.
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In ref to Madge 1 - sister is filing for guardianship in retaliation for being reported to soc svcs for providing false info on medicaid financial forms. Said mother had no money/assets and needed medicaid to pay all nursing home expenses except for mothers retirement checks. There was money taken from mother's savings account and hidden. Not sure if a judge will buy into their story for the need for guardianshp because I don't know what they will claim to be the need. I guess I will be in the dark until the court hearing unless they are required to provide info. I really do not know what to expect. Anyone been there - done that?
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your sister is filing for guardianship because someone turned her in for basically fraud and she is going to court before a judge? HAAAAA, can I come? This should be interesting. You for one need to present the information to the judge about the fraud. I can't imagine him or her being real pleased to see that.

Reminds me of my poor aunt years ago. She had been taking care of her child after her bum husband left her just weeks after the child was born. He didn't pay child support and for some stupid reason went to court with my Aunt claiming he was taking his son. Of course the son was several years old by this time. Not only did he not get his son but had to pay my Aunt thousands of dollars back pay for child support.. Haaaaaaa

Note to you sister: Be careful what you wish for.
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Guardian ship is suppoed to require the person to be given notice that it is being done and having an opportunity to contest it. If someone is already beign dishonest it would not supirse me that they might try to trick the judge into granting it witout going through the correct procedures, and someone needs to help Mom contest it. Sister's POA can and should be revoked if the financial abuse can be substantiated. Almost every POA has that built into it. Guardianship is a very serious matter - not that POA itself is not a serious responsibility - and neither should not go to someone who does not have the person's best interests in mind.
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I have two parents with mental problems and I'm the only child. The dad is a Sociopath/bully and very narcissistic. They are 89 and 78 years old. He ---is doing Trusts and 30-year Edward Jones stuff to keep the money away from Mom, even if he dies. Even if he dies, and she out lives him, She will get nothing.! She just signs her life away so that he will continue to love her. HA HA Sociopaths love no one. And I do not know how to help her. I wish there was a way to get Guardianship over HIM. Because Mom doesn't care. All she is concerned with is staying in her own home.
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Abdea - consider calling Adult Protective Services, and/or an eldercare lawyer. It is NOT legit to make someone sign things if they are not competent.
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my Dad has lived with us for a few months, we have paid for everything his care in our home,meds,gas,back and forth to doctors apptments.he is also paranoid with his money.and he has dementia.he gets a monthly income thats not much but hes not paying for anything.we have a case worker and he told her he could handle his own money..Hes ready to lose his home because of back taxes.i ask the case worker about guardian ship.but she said shes waiting for the lawyer to call her back.mean while hes going to lose everything.The hospital release him in my care.cause they said he could not care for him self.am i responsible for all this?I want to help him feel like my hands are tied.what am i to do HELP!
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my husband's mother is accusing us of stealing from her, she is making wrong decisions about money and is paranoid about us helping her even though his other two brothers do not want to help. She has been diagnosed with dementia
we do not know what to do and do not think she will sign a power of attorney.
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The decision has been made by my mother children (4) that a guardian needs to be appointed for her. We have decided which one would take on this responsibility and she is willing (already in this role--just not legally documented). We have checked with a lawyer and his fee is too expensive for handling of this matter ($1500.00). We could do the paper work ourself but we are unable to locate the form. Can you direct me to the correct website for this form.
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If I live in NY and my Dad lives in NJ. Is it practical for me to be his guardian when there are other family members in NJ? How often do you have to go to court and where would this court be? (Which state) Can a NY lawyer take care of this issue?
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I have a brother who is an alcoholic, disabled Viet Vet, keeps being homeless, drinks himself almost to death and ends up in ICU's, signs himself out of the hospitals, nursing homes, etc. against medical advice. Got a girlfriend 30 years younger taking all his money for her new car and her rent, utilities, etc. Help us we are a big family don't know what to do!!!!!!!
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I have a legal appointment with our family concerning my husband's placement in a nursing. I am the spouse. My one daughter is the financial executor for our wills. Is it necessary for her to be there to discuss this placement?
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Trying to get med-ical for my mom and having trouble getting a statement of her retirement . She is not able to write or understand what a conservator is at all. I need to get the papers in soon to finish her med-iCal , what do I do please help.
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My sister's have the POA and have taken. My brother-in-law has her money and house in trust and she only has her social security and pension. I am her caregiver and live with her and they hate me and do not speak to me. When she runs out of money, they will not give her any. I am going to court for guardianship, as they do not want anything to do with her. They have tried to sell her house and put her in a nursing home. I am her health care proxy. Where do I stand?
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Mollyandme, you may be in a hard place, because legally, a POA can sell a person's assets for them if they become incompetent, or if they agree to it. I suppose as health care proxy, you could refuse to allow her to be admitted to the nursing home; POA person is responsible for paying bills. IF she were competent, she could change the POA to you, if she wanted. When she runs out of money, if there are no penalty periods for "gifting" of the house that is in the trust, she could get Medicaid and some states have community-based services they will pay for. POA can be taken away by a court if it has been abused or its terms are not being met by the person who has it; a lot depends on your individual state, and a lot depends on how exactly the POA and health care proxies are written.
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Do you think that by going to court as her caregiver I can obtain guardianship? Our court date is October 3rd. My sister has a record of bouncing her checks and refusing any contact with her and we are trying to remove her as power of attorney in court.
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My dad is currently living with my sister because his wife is spending all his money and so they got evicted from their apartment. All 4 of my dad's kids (including me) believe that his wife has a gambling problem, so she is giving him beer and sleeping pills so that he is too out-of-it to realize that she is spending his retirement check on "who knows what" each month. She has POA and guardianship due to some dementia. Now that the time of month has come around that she needs to have my dad in tow to get his check, she wants to come get my dad from my sisters. We believe that he is possibly in danger due to the pills and alcohol. We are going to pursue guardianship, but we cannot do that before she comes to get him. Can we get some kind of temporary guardianship quickly if we think his life is in danger?
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CininCO - all I can think of is get your evidence all together and call Adult Protective Services! Alcohol and some meds are a deadly combo and if you can definitely show this is the case, it ought to be enough to get them to act. Bless you for caring enough to try to fight this battle!!
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I want to know if there is a faster way to get guardianship when a parent is suddenly stricken with an illness and may be near death??
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Most POA or Advance Directives select an alternate person in the event the first person selected is unable to perform his or her duties under that document. Do you have a copy of those documents?
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