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He is unlikely to be able to live independently ever again with those issues. They will get worse. So what you're talking about is how to set up a memory care assisted living facility in his home or yours, I suppose.

A visiting aide isn't likely to be able to handle all the problems he'll be having. He'll need 24/7 care. One person can't live in and do all the tasks required; he/she will need breaks. Weekends off. Relief aides. You'll probably need at least 3 hired people. At least.

I did this for my parents. I wouldn't do it again. Your best bet is to get him into a facility that provides assisted living and memory care units. If dad resists, objects, etc., you be the boss. His wants are overshadowed by his needs now.

Good luck, and don't even think about taking him into your home or moving in with him.
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Unfortunately it sounds like your father is past the "independent" living stage and needs to be in an assisted living facility with the option of memory care down the road.
You can start researching assisted living facilities in his area now.
Best wishes in finding the right one for him.
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My mother lost vision in one eye along with all physical abilities after a stroke. I cannot imagine her care needs being even close to being met in a home setting, even with hired help. She didn’t have cognitive loss but the physical needs were overwhelming. Please look into getting professional advice from your dad’s doctor to see if this idea is realistic at all before you proceed
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When we were first trying to decide between assisted living and nursing home care for my FIL - we went through a sort of "pre-assessment" with the social worker. It wasn't anything formal - she just sort of threw out some questions to us about what he could and couldn't do for himself and how much help he needed to get an idea if there was even any point in looking into assisted living facilities or if a nursing home was the only realistic option.

He was in rehab. Extended stay because he could not return home.

I will put this question to you.

If you are looking into a facility ALONG WITH AN AID of any kind with any significant number of hours....if you are looking for an aid to do anything more than drop off groceries or a meal here or there...you are likely overestimating your father's ability to live independently.

Can he manage his Activities of Daily Living independently?
https://www.payingforseniorcare.com/activities-of-daily-living

If the answer to that is really no - or he needs increasing amounts of help - then Independent Living is likely not your answer. A step up facility where he can transition from Assisted Living to Skilled Nursing or Memory Care is probably a much better option.

https://www.aplaceformom.com/caregiver-resources/articles/assisted-living-vs-independent-living

https://www.seniorliving.org/compare/assisted-living-vs-skilled-nursing/

Really consider your options here or you may be engaged to do a lot more than you expect. Or you may have to hire more and more help.
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The more money you have, the more options you have.
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ElizabethAR37 Aug 2023
Absolutely true!
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IMO he is beyond the IL home. More into AL, with a step up to MC when it is time.

AL will care for him unless you have bookoos of money to pay for home care 24/7, most of us do not, and you shouldn't pay for it in the first place.
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If he has cognitive decline, consider memory care facilities. They specialize in this area and know what to do if his condition declines further.
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All great advice here. What most family members underestimate is the time and effort required to manage in home care round the clock. And how much will still fall to them whenever there are staffing issues - which are frequent. If money is no object then a great AL or MC is the best for him and for you.
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viduci76247: His health issues dictate a higher level of care than independent living.
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If you mean his own house or apartment, you can hire 24/7 home care but you may need care givers of a higher level and higher cost than just personal care aides.
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