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Dad moved in with me a couple months ago and things have just calmed down after the passing of his wife to the point that I was able to meet with an elder law attorney yesterday. He doesn't qualify (due to assets) for Medicaid/Veterans Benefits, but he may require it some day, if he ever gets to a point that I'm not longer able to care for him.


Dad has mid-stage dementia and is very uncomfortable around people he doesn't know; he even becomes agitated when new people come to the home that he doesn't know. Because of this, I'm going to have to resign to only family members filling in for me for respite care when my husband and I need time away. One brother lives an hour away and the other is 2.5 hrs. Because of the distance they have to travel, I told the attorney that I'd like the care agreements to pay at a rate of $25/hr. She said this was too high and said she'd like to see it more around $14-16/hr. The Genworth website reflects an hourly rate of $27/hr, so I thought I was safe at $25/hr, but she says that's an agency's rate and includes their overhead. We settled at $20/hr.


I'd like to get some input as to what some of you pay family members or other non-agency affiliated caregivers. I live in Wisconsin and I really don't think $20/hr is outrageous. And if I'm limited to family members (and can't pay mileage rates), I should at least be able to pay the "going rate".


Thoughts?

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I think $20 on low end .. 25$ good
minimum… agencies more like 35/40
actually if family members giving you some respite and rest I wouldn’t be nickel and diming them … be thankful they’re helping .
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JustVee Dec 2021
Agree - I'm not nickel and diming them, my attorney said I shouldn't pay them so much. I wanted to give them $25 so they're more eager to help.. not less.
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Ever seen the old tv show Green Acres where Zsa Zsa Gabor negotiated by increasing the amount instead of negotiating down?

Your family attorney wants to treat care like a business. Go for it. Tell her you’ve reconsidered. You were remiss in treating this as a family matter instead of a business matter. Thanks to her enlightening you, you realize that your status is an employee in this caregiver business and therefore you expect to be paid.

If you were in Connecticut, I’d say ask for a salary of $60,000/year plus costs for room and board for 24/7 care, 1 day a week off (the lawyer hires part time help), 20 day vacation and social security contributions as required by law. You will pay taxes. This is a real number for what a caregiver I knew was paid 6 yrs ago BEFORE todays inflation. Granted it was upscale Connecticut.

So, using that as a basis, set a comprehensive value and price for your services in your community and expect it. You are the single most qualified person for this job. Caregiving is tough and everything I’ve read on posts is that dementia takes an added toll on caregivers. The lawyer will patronize and try to play you, but seriously, she opened the door. Don’t let her bully you. You can tell her moving dad to a facility is an option. Obviously second rate option, but then what does that say about her respect and the family’s respect for you if you get paid less than a bad option?

Then you can afford to subcontract as needed and at a rate you feel necessary.
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Santalynn Dec 2021
I like your style here: despite all our emotional ties this situation does need a realistic approach: caregiving is a job (just as mothering is, homemaking is, etc.) and should be appropriately compensated with payment, in kind, or any reasonable combination. And, yes, throw dementia into the mix and any caregiver will have mental/psychological/emotional strain which anyone who researches these kinds of illnesses will see that it's not unusual for caregiver to Die Before the elder due to Stress-induced illnesses. Kudos. It's not heartless to expect compensation; it's not money grubbin, it's being honest about the Value of this caregiving responsibility.
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The minimum wage here is 16.75. Indy aides start at about $20-$21. Agency rates are about $8, $10 more per hour.

$14 seems really low. Almost insulting. If anything family deserves to be paid more, not less. It's not like you're going to be getting rich off this senior simply by doing work for market rrate.
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From your profile: "I am caring for my father Rob, who is 78 years old, living in my home with alzheimer's / dementia, anxiety, mobility problems, sleep disorder, and stroke."

What exactly are the caregiving duties that you do for him? I see nothing wrong with $25/hour!

And why aren't YOU being paid for taking care of your father????? (Or are you?) If your father has assets, you should be compensated.

I got $20/hour, and did no hands-on care for my mother. I did not live with her. I was paid by a POA brother. No taxes taken out, and it was all a gift to me, as she would never have qualified for Medicaid.

It seems like you ARE doing hands-on care. Why should your brothers get paid and not you? They get paid to take care of THEIR mother, but you do it for free? (Again, I hope this is NOT the case!)
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Isthisrealyreal Dec 2021
She takes care of her dad.
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My mom passed away from Alzheimer's about 9 years ago, and most agencies charged $20-$25 an hour then. A friend pays an aide $25 an hr. now, directly to her, no agency involved. Hubby and I took care of my mom for 5 years, and like your dad, my mom was wary of strangers, unless we were here, so we never hired anyone, but I was wondering, if it becomes necessary, if a family member isn't available, if you could have an aide come over while you are there. Maybe you could do this for a week or so, for a few hours at a time, so your dad could get used to her, and then see if he'd be comfortable with her as you did other chores in the house, so you weren't as visible. Then you could see if he'd be comfortable with her for a few hours, with no one else home. (A nanny-cam might help. I think you should tell the person that you have one, so everything is on the up and up.) I wrote a book about our travails called, "My Mother Has Alzheimer's and My Dog has Tapeworms: A Caregiver's Tale." In it, I mention that I had no idea of the financial and emotional toll that Alzheimer's takes on everyone: patient and caregivers alike. Best of luck.
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JustVee Dec 2021
You're so correct; today has been so difficult because of dad's memory problems. I feel good about the $20/hr, given our labor shortages here. I don't think the additional help would fly - even with me in the house. Last time we had a visitor dad didn't know, he became very irritated and upset, even with us in the same room.
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Clearly every state and county will be different as the cost of living is different everywhere so to ask such an question won't provide you with the exact dollar amount "acceptable" in your area. You mentioned an Atty and that's great as they are privy to this information, also we will all answer your question depending on where in the U.S. we are located. I am in Massachusetts and here the low end for PCA'S is $22-$27 and CNA'S $27-$35 providing private in home care. Consumers here pay agencies upwards of $45+ an hour and in return pay a CNA $19-$23 hourly. Again please look at your area for competitive wages. I have always found no matter what state you live in the local Council Of Aging is an amazing resource and wealth of information from food programs to how to hire the perfect caregiver- the knowledge these folks have is priceless! I wish the best for you and your family- your family member is blessed to have such a caring family!
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I'm in MA, and am thrilled to pay $25 for caregivers I know - not professional but extremely capable and caring. The agency was $39 per hour!
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DrBenshir Dec 2021
We pay $30/hour for a private caregiver in Maryland, and $31/hour for the weekend hours through an agency. Want to guess who gives Mom better care? I would pay anything to keep her daily caregiver. I would gladly pay more to the agency for someone who was intelligent enough to follow written instructions and stay awake during the day.
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Not outrageous but it will have to be declared for income tax purposes to satisfy Medicaid lookback by each of you if it’s a caregiver contract.
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I am paying $16.50 directly to a licensed CNA in South Florida . The agency rate was $22 to $25.

If you expect to eventually apply for assistance for your father, everyone who is being paid must declare the income on their tax returns and you will have to file and pay employment taxes.
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JustVee Dec 2021
I appreciate your response; that much, I'm aware of - and it's not at all an issue. I've made all aware that employment taxes will be taken out and will need to be declared.
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They are right. Agencies charge $25 an hr and pay mostly just a little more than minimum wage.

You can hire Caregivers for $12 an hr in Texas.

You settled for $20 and that's high, you can get a Nurse for that amount.
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TouchMatters Dec 2021
It depends on where you live.
And if they speak English or if English second language.
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