Mom is being placed very soon. Just waiting for paperwork, etc. When I sit in here looking around I start getting so sad. This house is fabulous, historical and right in downtown Silverton, OR. It is paid for, so I would only have utilities but it is huge and I don't know if I can take care of it myself after mom leaves. What would you do? I also need the money to place her. This whole thing is sooo stressful and painful. It's almost like the house is calling out to me to keep it.
I had similar feelings as you do but eventually realized that selling their home was necessary and inevitable. It was a relief afterward.
Not only that, but I felt a healthy amount of anger that they’d left me with the tangle of belongings and junk and legal issues that I’d had to resolve, taking away more than 5 years of my life, enjoyment, and earning power. I didn’t deserve that. They should have dealt with their own issues while they still could. My resentment made it easy not to want to hang onto things that would bring them too much to mind.
It was sad but the house was simply too big and a lot of upkeep.
Nothing stays the same forever... as we age we all need to come to peace with this fact. Count your blessings that you were able to live in such a charming town and place. Many people don't even get to have that. If you take good pics, then you can publish a nice memory book from places like Shutterfly and Tiny Prints (to name a few). It can be like a coffee table book for conversation.
Like others here, I fantasized about moving in and then fixing my house up to sell, or renting to family, which would turn into a disaster. Either way, I would ultimately have to sell it, and I feel like the market could go down from here. Plus I'm exhausted from the last year of mom's life.
I know selling it is the right thing to do, and you said you need the money to place your mom, so you probably have to make the same decision. I'm trying to do what grandma1930 suggested and picture a young, happy family growing up there. It makes easier to let go. I wish you the best.
Know that anyone who can afford to buy the house appreciates it. They are buying because they like the history behind it. Probably will not change a thing and will love it.
When my aunt and uncle died. Mom rented out their home. It was a nightmare. The home had to be renovated before the house could be sold later.
If the home is registered as a landmark in the area, you cannot go to a big box store to purchase anything.
You have to go to an architectural supply shop to get authentic period replacements for anything that needs repairing.
But this is often the case, people don't want change , specially when we age, and don't want to admit are age.
I'm truly sorry, it sounds like a beautiful home
So this is your mother's house, correct? I'm assuming you're POA. The POA has a responsibility to use the person's assets in the person's best interests. That would mean selling her house and using the funds to support her care needs, just like she'd have to do for herself if she was in a position to downsize on her own. Her house = her money, meant to pay for her care.
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