He was trying to get to the bathroom and headed for the closet. My partner got up during the night and needed to use the bathroom. He became disorientated and headed the wrong way and cut his fingers on the rough wall of the closet. He tried to turn around and got out of the closet and fell AGAIN. He is becoming more disorientated and hallucinating more and more. He still knows who I am and is very appreciative about my being here with him. I would never be anywhere else. I will hate the day when he no longer knows who I am. I am afraid to let the nurse know he fell again. I don't want them to force me to place him in outside care. Can they do that? I want him home until the end. If need be I will hire outside help, but we both agreed that he would never go to "the Home". Can they make me send him there?
You've twice mentioned disorientation. That could be from medicine, even from stress, from ear or sinus infections....these are worth checking out.
What about the hallucinations? W/o reading your other posts, I'm assuming that these have occurred in the past and some medical reason has been identified for them?
I don't know how they can force you into a facility placement unless they apply for conservatorship, but given the challenge for medical practices of maximizing their time and profit, I doubt if they would be inclined to do that. They might contact APS though, but I'm wondering if you are concerned there's more happening beyond the falls which could trigger intervention.
In the meantime, if you are legitimately concerned about this, start identifying in home care solutions to demonstrate that you're prepared to care for him at home, barring unforeseen circumstances.
I recall a night when my husband got up, opened a closet door, and stood there peeing. Yup, a bit disoriented I'd say. This is not unusual with dementia.
I really think you should discuss all of his medical symptoms with his medical providers. Falling is common with his diseases. It isn't your fault, and it is not the fault of being at home. But his medical providers may be able to provide some help if they know the full range of symptoms.
Good luck to you. I hope you will be able to keep him home. I think Garden Artist is right about starting to investigate what in-home care help is available, so it won't be an emergency search when it is desperately needed.
Be sure to read the bottom of the page where it tells how each category is determined. The PM ingredient is on this list as possibly causing delirium, so I quit giving it to my mom and it has helped. The doctor recommended melatonin, so we are trying that now.
Be sure to plan ahead with the medical power of attorney and other legal documents that will allow you to act on his behalf, unless he has children who will do this. With the new HIPPA laws, the doctors cannot tell you anything.
Have you seen the blog by John Schiappi here on aging care.com?