Mom fell at nursing home rehab, fractured her hip and now is back at rehab. She had been in a rehab nursing home since 5/29 after getting a pacemaker at 92. She was doing well but always ignored the bed/chair alarm and got up because she was doing well with the walker. On 6/27, she tried to get out bed, fell and fractured her hip. She had surgery, had the hospital delirium complete with some hallucinations, had a UTI, and needed a straight catheter several times. It was quite rough for 8 days. She returned to rehab last night, not mobile at all yet and she's in a lot of pain when they try to move. Three siblings and myself have been doing shifts to be with her 24/7 since the fall. Now we're afraid to leave her. It's a very good nursing home but they can't be everywhere. Right now we're just with her to get her back to her routine there but with dementia, not sure how much she remembers. Has anyone else experienced this fear of thinking another fall may occur?
My Mom was very stubborn and refused to use a rolling walker, she tried to use my Dad's but didn't like it. Sure enough Mom had several very serious falls at home where my Dad had to call 911. The last fall Mom was in the hospital, then to rehab, then to long-term-care. Yes, she kept falling. The nurses/aides tried many different things to limit the falls, but Mom was an escape artist getting out of her bed [she could no longer stand but her mind thought she could] and climbing out of her Geri-recliner. They ever tried a seat belt with the Geri-recliner, but within seconds they heard C L I C K... the belt was off... [sigh].
I realize you and your siblings are with Mom because she just returned recently from the hospital. That is understandable. If time marches on, then staying with Mom will have health consequences for you and your siblings.
As for falling and breaking a hip... sometimes the hip breaks, thus causing the fall.
I admire your solicitousness to your Mom but you do need to take care of yourselves too. Keep us posted.
So I can understand you and your siblings' decision to do these shifts, and I don't think it's over the top, and there is the valid point that the only way to make absolutely sure your loved one doesn't fall is never to let go of her at all - so that's what you're doing.
But. How long can you keep it up? It just can't be possible to go on contributing the equivalent of a 42 hour working week each to your mother's care. The four of you are going to have to put your heads together, ideally with your mother's doctor or senior rehab nurse in the room, and set yourselves a realistic timetable.
Tightly crossed fingers that your mother will make good progress and solve at least some of the problem that way.
Having said that you need to really look at your situation and come up with a plan that works for the five of you. For one thing, I believe you indicated that at this time she has pain and her movement is compromised - that should slow her down for the time being. In the rehab I lived in the nurses came quickly when they heard a bed or chair alarm go off. For escape artists they lowered the bed as low as it would go, nearly to the floor. This made it harder for residents to get up, allowing the nurses more time to get to the room when an alarm sounded. Additionally, a firm padding was put next to the bed so if they did fall an injury was less likely to occur. Given your mother's situation, these tactics might be enough to make her safe at night. Tell the nurses that you need them to respond to the alarm rather than you, so you can see if she will be safe without you there at night. Otherwise they may assume you (or your sibling) will be handling the alarm situation and not come. Stay with her two or three nights so you feel comfortable that these tactics are working, then relax and spend nights at home.
Does one of you have POA? Does your mother have financial resources that would allow you to hire sitters to free you up some? If so, pick a good agency, insist on a caregiver with a significant history of working with dementia patients. A minimum of two years as a HIRED caregiver was my goal. Do not accept a young woman who took care of Grandma or the like. You want someone who has two years as a professional caregiver of dementia patients - not someone who pitched in on occasion over the course of two years. Require that they assign you one person. Mom may come to recognize them over time and be more comfortable. Additionally, they develop an understanding of her and how to best work with her and communicate in the way that is best for her. Rotating caregivers can not develop that familiarity. Identify a set schedule so the caregiver is committed to your mother on certain days.
These steps will give you some relief and some breathing room. It will give you some time to calmly devise a plan for your mother's, your siblings and your future. There is a limit to what you can do. You can no more keep Mom safe every moment, than she could keep you safe every moment when you were a child. I am sure she felt very much as you do now, when you were little. The difference is that you were beginning your life, and hers is coming towards it's end. That regrettably cannot be stopped. So share your love, play dominos, make her laugh - watch METV with The Andy Griffith Show, Gunsmoke etc., listen to Big Band music or whatever music was her favorite in her youth. When you are with her, make it count.
He is 93 and has been under the care of an Iridologist for over a year. He has gone from 13 meds to 2. He is more coherent and says he hasn't felt this good in 30 years. Sometimes too many meds or a lack of proper minerals in the body can throw everything off balance. I hope this helps.
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