Apparently I was lied to by her "friend". We have already had 3 different doctors, brain scans, a stay in lockdown and now a geriatric psychiatrist. Friend made appointment, took her and now I am getting phone calls to confirm some type of visiting nurse service coming to the house? Is this even legal? I am POA and executor...I am flabbergasted! Please help! What do I do?
"All behaviour has a positive good intention." So you sigh heavily, get her where you can make eye contact, clarify the vital importance of reliable information and its being the sine qua non of patient safety and all that, promise the more respectful equivalent of "now Mommy and Daddy won't be cross" and get her to come clean, with full and accurate details.
She's "only trying to help" (oh Gawd help us). So instead of following what anyone's natural reaction would be and ripping the woman's head off - I know I'd be tempted - if you thank her graciously for the intention you're far more likely to be able to get her to stop - please!!!
I'm not clear on whether the friend took your mother w/o your knowledge or permission, or if you knew there would be an appointment but were surprised by the home care.
If the friend took her w/o permission, I think you might want to have a heart-to-talk with this friend about her intent. Do you normally take your mother to medical appointments? Has this friend been involved in your mother's medical appointments before, or is this a first time?
And what's this doctor's specialty? Did your mother need to see him or her?
First, this could benefit your mother b/c she can get nominal nursing care, PT, OT, speech therapy if necessary, an aide, and/or SW (if you want one - you can refuse them as I did after one threatened me).
Second, I would call this doctor as well as the "friend" and find out specifically the reason for home care, although in my experience if you get a good agency it's worth the inconvenience of so many people coming and disrupting any schedule you have.
Ask the doctor what the goal of the home care is - for nursing or for physical issues. You can refuse it, but at least check it out b/c it might be beneficial.
The friend registered mom with the doctor. Her contact info, her pharmacy.
Mom's Rx, is most likely in the possesion of "zfriend".
Obtain the records, have the doctor say what pharmacy drugs were called in to, make a police report, elder fraud, prescription drug diversion, vulnerable adult endangerment.
Copy the doctor.
Hoping this is not as bad as it looks.
Contact this doctor and medical service and tell them...you hold the DPOA and the medical POA?..and you did not authorize this!
Watch out.....I found out the hard way...insurance did not cover home visit nurse! It only lasted one month, it the bill added up to thousands! Stop this now, quick
As for the friend, I would tell her she can only take Mom when the visit is supervised...otherwise mom and her stay home. Tell her why.
Please check for any extra meds that are around and dispose of them. I am somewhat appalled at her boldness and lack of consideration of you and the other caregivers.
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