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My brother, dad's POA, is hiding life insurance policies left to my father from our mother and is using his money as he pleases. My father doesn't want to see his son get into trouble so he goes along with everything my brother does. I have videos of him yelling at my father and you can hear the fear in my father's voice, as well as my sister (she is in on it as well) stating they lost money (how do you lose $30,000?). I have a text message from my sister telling me she needs $8,000 from my father and he wants me to go over their house before he gives it to her. This is because he is afraid to say no to her, so he wants me to tell her no, which I did but the POA had no problem handing it right over to her. I have a video of me telling my dad they are stealing from you and he states, you are probably right. I hired an attorney, he agrees that it is financial elder abuse but since my brother is POA and my dad won't file the complaint, it's ok for him to continue to wipe out my dads account. Laws need to change, this is a disgrace. I did everything I can think of to help my dad, I had hoped that if he needed assisting living, he would be well taken care of, unfortunately, the one with the power could care less what happens to him. If anyone has any advice, I'd love to hear it! Thanks for listening!

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This is an abuse of authority. As long as Dad is competent the POA is not in effect unless its "immediate". Call APS and ask how they can help. Your brother is stealing. A POA does not give him the right to do what he is doing. If Dad is competent, he can revoke it and assign someone else.
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Annie7 Aug 2020
Thank you for reply to me about my brother. He is DPOA and still lives at home. I feel my father is afraid of him, he'll never admit to this. He is totally dependent on him as well. I have videos and recordings of my dad asking how much money he has, my brother replies, "you have that much money", I ask my father, "dad is that good enough for you?" he replies, "Uhhhh...I guess so" you can hear the fear in his voice. I have many other videos of both he and my sister lying to my dad. The problem is, I can't find anyone to listen to them! I'm currently searching for a contingency lawyer. It's just terrible! Plus the fact that they have my dad believing I'm the bad guy in all of this. Thanks for listening!!! Be safe and stay well!
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Adult Protective Services or a lawyer may be your only course now going forward if all you have told us is true. But do know that when siblings get into a fight over a failing parent the court will often take guardianship from them both. This is not something you can do anything about on your own. You need the help of the law if there is financial abuse happening.
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Call Protective Services at once.  They are required to investigate even if Dad says he doesn't want to get other family members in trouble.
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Jada824 Aug 2020
They don’t do anything if the elder doesn’t speak up. I know because I’ve called them about elder isolation & financial abuse.
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First, is the role of your brother Durable PoA, General PoA or Limited PoA? There are important distinctions between the three.

As the PoA for your father, your brother would have signed a legal document in your state that LEGALLY spells out exactly what he can and cannot do with your father's money and assets. A PoA can pay your dad's bills from his accounts and use funds for his care, but a PoA cannot "gift" money from your father's funds to anyone without his permission.

I would first demand your brother present you the PoA that he and your father signed. If he refuses, Google "Power of Attorney" forms for your state. The forms will give you a foundation on which to challenge your brother's actions. For example, in my state:
"Agent's Duties When you accept the authority granted under this power of attorney, a special legal relationship is created between you and the principal. This relationship imposes upon you legal duties that continue until you resign or the power of attorney is terminated or revoked.
(1) Act loyally for the principal's benefit; (2) Avoid conflicts that would impair your ability to act in the principal's best interest; (3) Act with care, competence, and diligence; (4) Keep a record of all receipts, disbursements, and transactions made on behalf of the principal; (5) Cooperate with any person that has authority to make health care decisions for the principal to do what you know the principal reasonably expects or, if you do not know the principal's expectations, to act in the principal's best interest; and (6) Attempt to preserve the principal's estate plan if you know the plan and preserving the plan is consistent with the principal's best interest."
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Petition Probate Court to become guardian and Conservator your husband or you can do that is ultimate decision maker. Check out Dr. Sam Sugar’s book before you do.
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You have to convince your father to revoke the POA he’s competent and if he gives them money there is nothing you can do but if he no longer wants to be in charge get him to give it to you and they have to them ask you and you can say no keep records of what money is spent on his care. But the other siblings may walk away leaving you to be sole caregiver if your prepared to accept that role then talk to your Dad about it. If he still chooses his current course then that is his choice his money and his life and you have to accept that. This type of sibling revelry is not good for your father and even if you do not agree it is still his decision. You offer him a way out if he accepts great if not then you have to accept that. If he’s not competent then that all changes but it sounds like he is and so there’s not a lot you can do.
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I understand that your dad is intimidated and afraid of brother and sister regarding this situation. My first question is this, why was poa activated or do they just tell him it was. It seems that he's more afraid than unaware of what is happening. IF he has his cognitive abilities he can chose to rescind brother's POA (medical and financial) and name you. Would also suggest revisiting his will and executor at this time too. This gives you an opportunity to make brother and sister account for all missing and misappropriated assets. They get 2 choices, make dad whole again by paying money back or you will be talking to an attorney who may have a chat with the states attorney. Dad is seeking your protection from them, he doesn't need to know about confronting their behavior at this time. Other option is to apply for guardianship of him. Legal aid may be able to help at least answer some of your questions but do not inform siblings of what is going on for both of your sakes. (no reprisals against dad while you attempt to straighten out this can of worms) unfortunately there are those that have the mentality that it's going to be their inheritance anyway so what's the big deal. They are bleeding him dry. This is abuse financially, mentally, and emotionally. I'll go to jail dad, and you'll be stuck in a nursing home.....one of the greatest fears of our elders.
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When fear takes place, the fragile mind is oftentimes confused by gaslighting or sometimes the person doesnt realize they are being abused. Pride comes before a fall.
Contact social security fraud. This is easily done online. They will check to see how money is being used. They don't like seniors or disabled being taken advantage of. Get hold if elder law attorney for guardianship.
The people that are financially abusing will lie as long as they can.
Been there.
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Annie7, have you tried showing the videos you mention to your father? To your father himself?

You say he doesn't want to see his son get into trouble. It just crosses my mind that if you let him see for himself how his son treats him when the son wants money, he may at least want the abuse to STOP.

If your father is still his own decision-maker, so that no action can be taken without his consent, then he is also free to annul your brother's power of attorney and appoint somebody else. If not you, then perhaps that attorney could recommend alternatives.
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