My Mom is 90 years old and had been living with her male companion for 38 years. For about the last 5 years, she has been declining mentally and physically as far as balance, hygiene, etc. She also had surgery recently for a rectal prolapse and she had already been incontinent for a while and remains so. She was put on an antidepressant in the nursing home, fed well, bathed, and generally cared for well. She looks much better and as long as she is on level ground, she can walk a certain distance. She also seems somewhat better mentally. My fear is that if I remove her from there, she may fall in my home or may worsen back to her previous condition, and I don't think I am physically able to help her in and out of the shower or to be able to help her if she falls as I am 65 years old and have spinal arthritis and general old age stiffness and aches and pains. I have a lot of stairs outside leading up to the front door and stairs in the house. But I am feeling guilty leaving her in the home because she looks and sounds more alert than a lot of the other residents. She is also pending Medicaid and if I remove her, that will halt that process and it may be difficult to get her approved later. Any opinions? My stomach churns every day wondering if I'm doing the right thing.
Dont talk yourself into bringing her home. What would that prove? You might feel better, but I can almost guarantee you she won’t.
You did the right thing. Your mom is healthier and probably happier where she is. This is not to suggest that you can't take care of her but you can't provide the care of a team of nurses day after day. Nobody can provide that kind of care on their own.
You did the right thing by your mom. Now you can enjoy each other and have fun visits together.