There is no more doubt. My sister-in-law controls my mother. Yes my mom has placed a good deal of trust in her. SIL purposely changed my phone number in mom’s phone - I fixed it. Now SIL has blocked my number in mom’s phone.
Why is SIL being so under handed? It’s a repeat of how she took over my dad’s care trying to be the Big Cheese when dad was dying of cancer. What would make someone behave like this? It’s like she’s competing with me for my parents’ love.
For those of you who have followed my posts, this is not my imagination - this is for real. But why? Control? Money?,
As you have said in the past, you have a very dysfunctional relationship with your mom; she sees you as an extension of herself and balks when she can't control you.
One of my SIL's has always got along better with my mom than ANY of us siblings. SIL, who is a wise and kind person always said that it's because she and mom had an "adult to adult" relationship and mom never had to deal with her as a rebellious teenager; we call SIL "our secret weapon" because she was always able to calm mom down and figure out what was wrong.
Maybe your SIL has unmet mothering/control/other needs that are being fufulled by her relationship with your mom. In any event, if she has a better relationship and wants to do the work, what is the problem with letting her do it?
You and your mom appear to be triggers for each other. It's possible that your mom is ASKING SIL to block you, isn't it? That MOM tells SIL all sorts of lies about you?
Can you have a non-heated, non-accusatory discussion with SIL about why she blocked your number? Like "hey SIL, let's go have coffee; I noticed that my number was blocked in mom's phone; was there a reason for that that I should be aware of?"
Personally, I decided to bow out gracefully. That is what works for me. I had the issue of my brother and SIL changing mom’s phone number and not giving it to me. My nephew gave it to me.
Guess what though? I feel like mom could have called me to give it to me so I don’t feel like she is completely off the hook as being ‘fault free.’
Don’t make assumptions without knowing the details. Even if you ask for details the actual facts may be withheld. Here’s a clue, the story changes. That’s when I said, “Okay, mom, this isn’t working for me. I hope things go well for you but I am going to gracefully back out.”
My MIL was a dream come true for me! We clicked. She and I had a very special connection, a genuine bond. I miss her terribly. I did not have any issues with my husband’s siblings or wives. She only had sons. She told me that I was her daughter. She got along with the other daughter in laws too.
My MIL had a crappy relationship with her mom and mother in law. She made a promise to me that she would never be that type of mother in law to me. She kept that promise!
I would like to bow out. I will just send mom cards.
If mom asks why you dont call, tell her truthfully that somehow, your calls aren't going through.