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I would ask his doctor who is aware of all of his meds. When you buy the wine, is it still a glass with dinner or his he drinking the whole thing? That would be important to share with the dr.
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my2cents Nov 2020
You might also try a drink that comes in wine shaped bottle. One of the sparkling fruit/wine looking drinks
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My mother-in-law suffered from advanced dementia. She was probably an alcoholic. We think she had been frequently refilling her coffee cup (with boxed wine a family member bought for her) through the day, but it may have been to get calories since she was eating poorly and very thin. We were concerned because of her lack of nutrition, dementia, hallucinations, and meds.
When we obtained guardianship and brought her to live with us, we cut her back to a couple small glasses of wine daily for a week or so, adding nutritious snacks and meals that she could chew (no teeth) and digest (celiac disease). Then we decreased it to one glass of wine, while adding a glass of cranberry juice a day which she loved. Finally she was enjoying an afternoon glass of cranberry juice with slices of cheese, never missing the wine.
I purchased cranberry juice that was 100% juice, sweetened with other juices, NOT sugar added or artificial sweeteners, and poured it into pretty little glasses that she could easily handle. She also loved bowls of yogurt with fruit, and after early dinners, small bowls of natural vanilla ice cream.
Staying well hydrated helped to reduce the craving for alcohol, a strategy I use myself when stress tempts me to pour another glass of wine that I know I don't need or really want!
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In their reality a wine glass with a nonalcoholic wine substitute would also give the ambiance of the experience which is what most people are looking for at that point --to belong to normal. It would be a good chance to join and make it special for you both.
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I would check with the doctor first because IF he is on any medications it might interfere.  Could you just buy some grape juice and/or cranberry juice (water down slightly) and let him know you got some and poured it into a glass for him.  and it might make the hallucinations worse.......wishing you luck
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No not good--- only makes it worse and can lead to falls.
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haileybug Nov 2020
Right
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If the doctor ok's it, I would say do it. My mom loved her "glass of wine" but she was pouring it herself, and then forgot that she had some already and just kept pouring another and another some days. Hopefully somebody will be serving dad the appropriate amount. It is a joy to see them enjoy a glass of wine.
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Well anyone on here knows my Mom has her 2 glasses of Port every night.. sometimes it goes well and once in awhile she gets loopy! Her FD and her Cardiologist say let it go! She is 90 YO and has not much happiness left. BTW she also smokes about a pack a day, and they have given up on the not smoking issue also! It is what it is,, and if she is happy at 90 YO,, so be it. She is not going to live forever, and believe me she does not want to.. so I just want her happy while she is still here
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DobermanLover Nov 2020
I gave up on Mom quitting smoking years ago!!! It is what it is...I can't change it and I'm not her parent!!!
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Imho, it's a no if your father takes medication, although red wine in small amounts has been said to be beneficial.
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I,assume he’s not driving and not able to get out on his own. You can buy alcohol free wine and beer. My mom has dementia and enjoys a glass of wine or a cold beer occasionally. You have to control the situation. Don’t leave him alone with a full bottle.
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DL

"These people are at the end of life who cares"

To this comment: That is the point I am making. "No one cares." That is a shame.

I'm not preaching. Nothing I have stated here is biblical.
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DobermanLover Nov 2020
Hailybug

    You're nitpicking my comment...when I said no one cares...you know I meant no one cares about drinking a glass of wine...
    And preaching...ok how about 
proselytizing instead of preaching... better?
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DL

Do you feel you did not nitpick my comment? I mean, honestly, I was just giving my opinions as to why I did not agree with giving someone with dementia, (or anyone for that matter) a glass of wine.

No arguement - just opinion.

Your comment to me was basically, "who cares." Now if you were not nitpicking my comment, then what were you doing?

Either way - you right or wrong - it doesn't matter to me. If you want me to publicly apologize - I CAN DO THAT : )

Like I said, No arguement here.
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DobermanLover Nov 2020
My father was my best friend I worshiped the ground he walked on
...I watched him go from a robust man of 6' 5" 265 lbs down to 150 pounds...if he wanted a glass of wine I would have moved heaven and earth to do that for him...he died in my arms...I require no apology....
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DL

I felt the hurt in my heart for you. Whew. Bless your heart. You were a very strong person. I understand you had a deep love for your dad. So sorry.
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DobermanLover Nov 2020
I did love him so very much...Thank You... ;)
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My mom enjoys a small cocktail with her neighbors every afternoon. It was approved by her doctor.
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Lets remember all of us are stressed to the max trying to do the best for our loved ones. Be generous and be kind. Everyone's story is different.
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These threads are becoming too religious for me, and too much backbiting and baiting each other, rather than responding to the original poster's issue. I never realized until recently how many nutcase evangelicals were on this forum. And apparently you all have no one else to argue with online, now that the hate groups and conspiracies have been kicked off of Facebook.
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AlvaDeer Nov 2020
Beekee,
I am an atheist, but would support anyone's right to have their own religious belief, or none at all.
I think you managed to fish out a month old thread that hasn't been commented on for many days. I agree with you that it seemed to have descended into it's own odd madness. But it wouldn't have even shown up on Forum today had you not felt the need to comment on it. I could almost think it is YOU looking for an argument this fine evening. And for the sake of argument (I admit to enjoying one occasionally actually), I know you have found posts worthy of comment and considerations in past, and have contributed good info, and bet you will in the future. At least I hope so.
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NoBodyGetsIt

No offense here and I don't mean to harpe on an old thread but I do want to respond to your comment.

You stated, "you have been brushed off from not providing "intellectual answers."

From what I have witnessed on this forum, your answers are just as "intellectual" as anyone else's here.

Do not let others intimidate you and tell you otherwise. : )
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NobodyGetsIt Dec 2020
haileybug,

No offense taken - at least not by me :)!

I appreciate your comments. It's not a matter of being intimidated, it's just a matter of not wanting to contribute anything if it's not helpful as my plate is plenty full!

Thank you again -
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NobodyGetsIt, I like reading your replies on this site. You have always been respectful on this site. You have a lot to offer this Forum and one can't please everyone. There is not one thing wrong in sending support via Bible verses in my opinion. I find them refreshing and comforting. I tried to send you a private message the other day and could not send it now I know why. Please stay on this Forum. Know there are some people here that really appreciate your kindness and support. Hugs to you!
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NobodyGetsIt Dec 2020
Hi "earlybird,"

I appreciate your comments. You've always been gracious to me and a lot of your posts bring a smile to my face if not a "chuckle." I'm not trying to please everyone or anyone for that matter. Like the proverbial saying goes, "You can please some of the people all of the time, you can please all of the people some of the time, but you can't please all of the people all of the time" attributed to John Lydgate, Abe Lincoln and PT Barnum according to one source. I actually prefer the other saying, "You can fool all the people some of the time and some of the people all the time, but you cannot fool all the people all the time" - but, that's a whole other arena!

In this day and age, I think or more like I know, most people see kindness, empathy and compassion as a weakness but, "I" see it as a strength. If people met me in person, they would know I'm very confident and comfortable in my own skin - I wasn't like that when I was younger.

I haven't been on the forum except a few times late at night when someone seemed desperate for an answer and I wanted to help them know they've been heard but, mostly have answered some of those questions or updates privately.

I know one thing, I've gotten two big projects done that I've been dreading and putting off for a couple years, completed while being away!

I'm glad you find the Bible verses refreshing and comforting which is all they are meant to do - I'm not trying to force any of my beliefs on anyone, not trying to convert anyone. Sometimes, it's just some words to be pondered but, everyone can make up their own minds whether they get anything out of it.

Well, better get back to my next project - it feels great to get something accomplished. I will try to private message you later today!
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Beekee, your rude comment was not necessary!!
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