My mom’s diagnosis was down-graded from ESLD and days-to-weeks to live to a stage 3 liver disease with more than 3 months to live. However, she still doesn’t eat much in day: less than 300 cal per day. She lies to doctors about how much she eats and how much she participates in her physical therapy exercises, does not want a liver transplant, smokes like a chimney. I’m wondering if some mental health or AA would be good for her. She did quit drinking 4 months ago. But I'm not sure how to approach it or if I should even try.
IF she is smoking, drinking and basically non complaint, she will not even be considered for a liver transplant, so the 3 month 'left to live' sounds about right.
Get some help for yourself, b/c your mother is unlikely to change and is probably going to die, sooner rather than later.
(My SIL is a liver transplant doc in a large city hospital. I swear your mom's story could be the story of a patient lost 2 weeks ago. Woman wouldn't comply with ANYTHING and he told her on Thanksgiving he'd pulled strings and tried to get her well enough to possibly transplant and she screamed at him. Lovely lady (not).
I asked 'So what happened?" and he replied, 'well she died the next morning. We lose more than we save" He said a full 60% of his Liver patients are totally non compliant, so don't take your mom's behavior personally.
I am sorry she's choosing to be this way, but people have their rights to slowly kill themselves.
Wishing you all the best; I know it's very hard to watch someone you love make decisions you don't agree with.
Now when it's all said and done,(or sooner) you might want to go some Al-Anon meetings for yourself, like AlvaDeer suggested, so you can heal from the trauma of living with an alcoholic. They are a wonderful organization that can help you heal and put things into perspective. Best wishes.
AA is a personal decision. Going to AA because someone else wants you to will be no good whatsoever. I would definitely suggest that YOU go to Al-Anon, though, as they are a great support to people who want the support. Wishing you great good luck, and Mom as well.
Has hospice been suggested?
I wonder if you have considered home health or hospice? They come with a lot of support for her and you. She would have a weekly nurse to check her vitals, her weight, fill her meds. Hospice would provide any medications she needs for her liver disease. Home health can order physical therapy to encourage her with the exercise. An aide could help her with baths.
My DH aunt is on hospice and is also getting Pt
Not all hospice offer the same support. You could call and interview a few over the phone to see if what they offer seems helpful to you.
They will tell you if she qualifies. Some home health agencies also have a hospice group.
You and she are doing great with the four months!
About whether you should try. Pick your moments. My mom had a psychiatrist visit her in ICU a few days before she died. I could tell that she truly enjoyed the visit. As Abbe said, finding the right therapist is key. Now during Covid, some therapist are treating patients over the phone or computer.
I also recommend the book, “Being Mortal, Medicine and What Matters in the End” by Atul Gawande.