Took my 82 year old husband took Dentist yesterday. He is wheelchair bound and with great difficulty and help, we were able to get him in the chair. After many x rays, the Dr. told him (us) he would have to have most of his teeth extracted because they were soon to fall out. One of them was possibly infected. He could only suggest Dentures which would require many visits and some pain. He would also have to consult his doctor because of the Coumadin he's taking ...... so he would have to be off it a couple of days. It appeared to be a long procedure. Now, my husband has a mild dementia but he understood everything. He wants to wait and make a decision later. I know, he will NEVER decide to go this route. What do I do as a caring and loving wife? Do I insist he go (because this could be dangerous for him because of that mild infection which could worsen) or do I let him make up his own mind?? He also has a tear in his Retina (eye) and has refused to see his retina specialist every 4 months. So far, everything remains the same with the eye. But it could worsen. He is tired of so many doctors and he sees how difficult it is for me to take him to all these appts. Should I insist he sees these doctors or should I just leave him to make his own decisions? He is a happy guy when he's just left alone. I hate to "upset the wagon" What to do???
As to the teeth. Many people do well with just gumming food, and unfortunately some parts of our country are almost without affordable dental care; that said the INFECTED tooth must be addressed, because the infection could go systemic.
I think you are playing the odds at some point. I wonder about going all out with many visits, much pain, with dentures at this point, so might let him make that decision, as well as the decision about his eye. However, the infected tooth? That's gotta go. IMHO.
You are really going the extra yards to try to figure out what is best for HIM, and so good of you to do so. Good luck. Give us an update when you have time.
With the eye - how long has it been in its current condition? And if it *were* to deteriorate, what would be the signs and what would the specialist then do?
I'm not one to be over cynical, and in spite of everything I do still have faith in licensed healthcare practitioners to put their patients' best interests first - no, really, I do, mainly, on balance - but apart from the fee what has been the aim of reviewing this retinal tear every four months?
glaucoma once every 4 months. Also his Hemotologist ( ITP ) every month. his endrocronologist..(Diabetis and thyroid, and cholesterol ) every 4 months, his podiatrist every 2 months....etc. He also has poor control of his bowel movements. We were out today and he lost it. What a mess cleaning him up. You can't imagine. I just want him to stay at home at this pont. It's exasperating for both of us. Mainly ME ! Does that answer your question ?? one more thing, I check his insulin level every day and also I do the INR testing every 2 weeks. I am 80 years old !
Dad does not have dementia.
After much pushing, he agreed to go to the dentist. He had 3 abscesses and at that time had those three teeth pulled as well as some of the broken roots. Dad has a heart condition and there is a link between dental infections and heart problems.
It was a painful procedure over a few appointments. He probably should have the rest of his teeth pulled, as more have broken off since he last went to the dentist. If they break below the gum line the odds of infection are higher. But Dad refuses to go back. He eats softer food, hamburger, not steak, cannot eat fresh leafy greens anymore. He is not at all interested in dentures, nor does he care how he looks with his broken teeth and missing teeth.
That is a huge red flag for me and I would recommend seeing a different dentist.
My dad had to have all of his uppers removed and my dentist said because he is on coumadin and elderly the safest route would be an oral surgeon, the procedure took like 45 minutes from waiting room to walking out the door.
If your husband understands, I think he should be allowed to decide what will be done to his body.
I would address that infection though. Maybe he can gargle with colloidal silver and heal it up without antibiotics. I would try that 1st, I would not trust the dentist if he didn't address that infection, period. That is criminal in my opinion, oral infections are extremely dangerous.
Have you made it clear to all the specialists how difficult it is to go there especially if he has an incontinence accident etc? It might be easier for a nurse to visit to test and send results back. Or they might decide it makes sense to treat the retina rather than monitor given your circumstances.
There are home visiting podiatrists who could attend rather than you struggle to take him to them at 80.
i sometimes wonder at the crazy set up for care we have that does not truly take into account all contributory factors.
Two things:
1) by friend's elderly dad was on blood thinner and went to have a tooth pulled. His doc knew and his dentist knew and he then had a stroke. This is the danger.
2) Be careful of what antibiotics the dentist gives you. My mom had a course after a root canal and she developed a reaction to it that cause a great deal of swelling in her feet and legs. I can't remember the name of the drug...starts with a "c" I think...clindamycin? But not sure.
Does you husband know he won't be able to enjoy a large assortment of foods anymore? This may tip the scales in his decision. Good luck you dear, sweet trooper!
A geriatric primary would be good to switch him over to if possible. They might know of a dentist you could get him into that would take care of that one tooth and advise him on the others.
If it weren’t for the possible infection, I would be tempted to leave him be but he has a lot to be managed to stay status quo.
Try to budget for an aide on the days you have to take him out. If something happens to you, what will happen to him?
Call the Area Agency on Aging and see what you can find out. Let us know how things are going. You are amazing to handle all of this. He is very lucky to have you for his bride.
If some of your husband’s Dr. appointments are absolutely not necessary, maybe you could cut back on some them? My mother in law is 81 and it really seems some of her Dr.’s keep her coming so often just for the money!
As far as eye, talk on phone with ophthalmologist and ask him his advice ...see if there’s drops he can prescribe. My mother also has glaucoma & macular degeneration & went last year to retina specialist...it’s very stressful since it takes about 3-4 hours...I decided I’m not shlepping her there anymore & she continues with the same eye drops prescription.
It’s too stressful for you to shlep him everywhere. Also general Internist can come to house.
I hope you have or get some help with caregiving?
Hugs 🤗
Some decisions have to made for them without taking away their power over their bodies.
Go with his Flow, I do think One Day, You will be able to Make all of his Decisions down the Stubborn Mule Line and at the Same Time...Miss HIM.xx
As a side note... after her death they kept sending her/me notices that she had appointments coming up. I went there in person asking them to stop. I was told they couldn't help it, they had so many patients they didn't have the time to go through all the pre-printed cards. I blew up. (I had been quiet up to this point). Yelled at them that their poor practices killed my mother and if I got one more card from them I would see them in court. It got so bad people got up and left. They threatened to call the police. I told them to go ahead and while they call the police I'd be calling the local news paper. I finally left and never got another card from them. Amazing how they "now" could go through their pile of cards and get my mom's out of the pile.
I had the same dentice and of course changed dentices. My new dentist and the one doing a root canal for me, helped me file paperwork on them. They were made to show their paperwork for the next five years showing they were finally being compliant on checking their paperwork when working on patients. (Mom's had that she was on a blood thinner.) . If nothing else, we probably stopped them from killing anyone else.
Sorry for the length of my post. IMO that amount of appts seems excessive. My Mom has glaucoma and we visit every 6 months. The last appointment she could not participate in one of the tests. The Dr was stumped on what to do. I said we just forgo it, she can't do it. Dr said I guess that will be fine. We'll just monitor another way. And why a different eye Dr for both of your husbands conditions? Two wallets to fill? I'm sorry but I am cynical. I would find one who can monitor/address both. You can only do what you can do and what makes sense. Could a visiting nurse come to the house to check Coumadin and sugar levels? I know of someone that monitors Coumadin levels at home with a meter and calls in results to Dr who then instructs to increase, decrease, skip a day, etc on the meds. My Mom was scheduled for a colonoscopy. I did some research on risk vs benefits and had a discussion with her Dr. He said that with her history and current mental status, he agreed to forgo that test. I had another Dr that wanted Mom's blood work checked every 3 months. We did this for a couple of years. A new Dr said that this was absurd. No issues, why every 3 months? I had a recent experience with my Mom. She was light headed and falling. Dr said this is what happens as dementia progresses. I did some reading on blood pressure meds and found out if you are on a cocktail of 3 meds, take one in the AM and 2 in the PM to alleviate the dizziness. I implemented, it worked, and Mom is fine. Dr never suggested this and once I told her what I had done she said, great, glad that worked. We know our loved ones, we can see their symptoms and changes. The quality of life must factor in with our caregiving. My Mom is also diabetic. The Dr would say NO sugars for her. She is diabetic. I say, SOME sugars for her is just fine. I do this while keeping her sugar levels in check BTW. She is only on metformin, no insulin. Speaking of metformin, my Mom wasn't taking her med years ago because she couldn't comfortably swallow it. It's a large pill. I spoke to Dr about it and he said cut in half. My Mom still had an issue and Dr has no suggestion. I spoke to the pharmacist about this and they told me about a liquid form of metformin which Mom now uses. Dr's don't know everything is my point and continue to advocate. I wish you and your husband the best and he is lucky that you are looking to improve his quality of life not simply extending it. Lastly, your quality of life matters too! Sorry for the length of this post but thought my experiences might help you or other readers :-)
Needless to say, we never went back (more to the story but now is not the time). It would have cost $1500+ for the teeth to be pulled and it cost $500 to have 2 rebuilt. Do the math. And get another opinion on his mouth/teeth. You cannot even imagine the pain of pulling all the teeth.
And yes, too many doctors does get tiresome.
Best wishes to both of you. Hugs!
My Husband had dementia.
He had broken teeth.
I made the decision NOT to have any work done because I did not want to have to deal with open wounds in the mouth that I knew he would not leave alone. I did not want to have to deal with the after effects of anesthesia that he would need to have.
Also the fitting of dentures is tricky and with weight loss the teeth made now will not fit after weight loss. If there is a chance he will have to be placed in Memory Care there is the great possibility that the dentures will be lost.
There is also a good possibility that if he has just a partial it could be aspirated or swallowed should it become loose.
If he has an infection treat that.
Continue good oral hygiene either you brush his teeth if he is not doing a good job. An electric toothbrush that has a quadrant timer is good so you know you have covered each area.
The use of Tooth Swabs or stiff foam brushes is also good after each meal to clear food debris from between the cheeks and gums.
cut back on sodas and juices stick with water, flavored is fine.
It is a tough decision but you have to balance what is best. A Benefit VS Burden check list might help. And does the dentist fully know the dementia diagnosis? That also might change his or her treatment plan.
I know it hasten his death, but it was difficult for him to get to medical appointments
if hubby wont go you did what you can