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My dad has dementia and never showers. He does well, otherwise. He has his activities and he likes to sit out front and watch the world go by. But the bathing issue is a real problem. We just spent a small fortune updating his bathroom so that he has a walk-in shower. Looks great but never gets used. We need a place where he can spend a little time with other people and come home cleaned. Is this an option?

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I don't think so. But you sure could call around and ask.

You may need to hire a male aid to come two or three times a week. They are often good at kind of just walking them into and through it 1-2-3.

What does your Dad say when you discuss this with him?
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Reply to AlvaDeer
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Some do. You would have to call and ask the one that is in your area. Some may do it only if there is a fecal accident that needs to be taken care of. I think in this day and age of litigation places that may have in the past are no longer doing showers.

You might be better off hiring someone to come in 2 or 3 times a week that will do a shower. People that do Shower Aid work are very skilled at getting non compliant people into the shower.
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Reply to Grandma1954
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Yes some do. The one in my city offers what they call a spa day, where they will give showers, wash and style ones hair, and shave and trim the men's beards/mustaches.
It's a wonderful service. I hope where you live they offer it as well. Just call and ask.
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Reply to funkygrandma59
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I have never seen hygiene services offered for adult daycare. I think it’s a great idea. I would check to see if this is available in your area.

There are a few organizations that offer hygiene services for homeless people in our area. They provide hot showers, razors, toothpaste and toothbrushes, etc.

Wishing you luck in this area!
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Reply to NeedHelpWithMom
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I'm hoping you also "seniorized" the shower: bath seat, hand-helf shower head, grab bars, non-slip tiles and rugs, etc. Make it warm enough so that it's enjoyable. Etc.

You may be able to find a 2x a week bath aid on Care.com. My Aunt had a neighbor (a qualified aid) come do it for her 2x a week. She never loved it but became more accepting of it eventually. I recommend finding a guy if at all possible (experienced). As long as you do the same amount of time, same days, same times it will give you a better chance of finding the right person. The shaving thing is an issue for the guys...
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Reply to Geaton777
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BurntCaregiver Jun 3, 2024
Good advice, Geaton. A lot of times the older guys don't want a woman helping them with bathing and washing. Totally understandable. I think I would prefer to be helped in succh a way by a woman.
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Some adult daycare centers offer showers and hygiene care. Not all of them, but some do. Call a few places.
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Reply to BurntCaregiver
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My Moms Daycare did offer bathing and I took advantage of it. Itvwas part of the initial cost. She went Monday, Wednesday and Friday.
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Reply to JoAnn29
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NeedHelpWithMom Jun 3, 2024
I suppose this was a routine thing for your mom. I think it’s a wonderful arrangement. Definitely a plus to have this service available.

Home health care provides aides to assist in basic hygiene care, so why shouldn’t daycare providers do the same.
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Well! I had not heard of that service here - but I can see the need! They must have the staff to manage or course, cycle them through the bathroom in the morning (just as residential aged care does).

Having an aide come to the home 2-3 x a week & to keep up that routine has been the solution for my lot.
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NeedHelpWithMom Jun 3, 2024
Yes, it would definitely be a plus in choosing the best daycare option.
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Hire a certified nurse Practitioner ( CNA ) Thats what I did and she came twice a week and did some light housecleaning Like laundry .
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Reply to KNance72
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Ask them.
Ask to see a contract for services provided.
He lives in day care? Day care from what I know are daily activities wherein a elder goes for a few hours and then is picked up and returned home.
I do not understand how you've paid to update his bathroom in a day care facility. Perhaps you mean assisted living - or wherever he has a private room.
Still, you need to discuss scheduling with the administrator, and dept manager.
Ask to see records when he is given a shower.

Gena / Touch Matters
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Reply to TouchMatters
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CaregiverL Jun 4, 2024
Bathroom was updated in the house, I believe. He’s not in a facility.
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It’s quite a new idea to clean yourself by immersing in water in a bath or shower. Once a week in a hip bath was enough a hundred years ago. Moist wiping was enough for a long time, and a warm wipe was a luxury (and it's still how bed baths are done). When Queen Elizabeth I bathed once every three months ‘whether she needed it or not’, she was rubbing herself with clean absorbent linen every morning. It was over 1500 years from the time when the Romans left Britain to the time when you could stand under a warm shower again. They didn’t use perfumes just because everyone stank!

Perhaps think outside the ‘shower or bath’ box? If you can’t find a way, how else could you keep him clean?
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Reply to MargaretMcKen
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That seems odd- like taking a dog to the groomer. What is more likely is that you can get someone to come to his home and help him with things like that, if he’s agreeable. But that’s the hard part. Does he still live alone? I was able to help my dad with showers when he came to live with me, but it took some work to make it a positive thing for him.
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Reply to Dizzerth
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Nana8380 Jun 11, 2024
Dizzerth, what worked to make it a positive thing for him? I cannot for the life of me get my husband to shower!!! It’s now been 12 days!
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My mother lived by herself until about a yr ago. I would often wonder how she was bathing etc until I made a point to spend a few days at her house with her then I found out. What she referred to as "a bird bath" why? Well she wouldn't say for the longest until I insisted on a shower.then it came out... She was afraid of falling! Well fwd to now... Mom lives with me her only son and guess what?? She showers daily! It took coaxing, patience, reassurance and being matter of fact .bathing is a must. Have you talked to your dad about it? Perhaps your dad is scared? Does he live alone? A male aid would be my best advice or .... You handle it. Modesty aside.... Basic needs are all I can 100%make sure of. I can't cure breast cancer and make health issues better, but I can and will make sure all basic needs are met. Being dirty is not an option. Best of luck
Ps. Sometimes a kid has to just take charge and take care of themm They really do revert back.
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Reply to Llamalover47
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Jaybee did not say her loved one was living in a day care. She implied he was still at home and not bathing. She is implying that if she places him in a facility will he be bathed. She did not say he was already in one.
As for help with all activities if placed in assisted living, my husband was in one for a month before he fell and died;.
YES, my husband was helped to get to the shower every other day by the staff assigned to help in his ward. When looking for a facility to place the loved one, ASK THE QUESTION. "HOW MUCH HELP WILL MY LOVED ONE GET WITH DAILY ACTIVITIES LIKE BATHING, SHOWERIING, GETTING DRESSED (if that is required), etc).
MAKE A LIST OF QUESTIONS YOU WANT TO ASK THE FACILITY REPRESENTATIVE WHO IS SHOWING YOU THE FACILITY. Help or not showering should be one of the questions.
Been there, done that.
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Reply to JosAgingCare
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Both of the senior day cares that my Mom went to offered bathing services as a separate fee.

You need to ask.
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Reply to ChoppedLiver
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