OH gosh, I'm at my wits end! My husband is suffering from the beginning of dementia, keeps ordering things (junk) online. He is a 75 yr old vet and smokes and drinks (that isn't helping his memory) But how can I stop him from ordering stuff online?
I have to call so many companies lately and explain, sometimes they credit but sometimes they DONT. Getting costly.
I even blacked out the 3 digits numbers on the back of cc he uses the most and he still was able to use it online? I would love if someone else has a suggestion!
PS if you are the wife of a vet, and he docs can show he cannot manage money, you can become appointed spouse fiduciary.
Retired from Visa quite a while ago. He was a super intelligent , frugal man.
Its very hard to watch him go down:((
Aren't there child protections on computers where you can set only what you want him to be able to get too. Just set up his regular sites, like email. When he complains something is wrong, tell him sorry I have no idea how to fix it. If he tells you to get it fixed, then act like your taking it and don't. When he asks when r you getting it back tell him it was unfixable. Put off getting another one. After a while hope he forgets.
I also made sure to throw away or donate as much as possible and frequently so he could continue to shop at thrift store. A lot that stuff was useless but I could just donate it in a few months later and then he got more stuff. Never seemed to miss anything and the waste of a few dollars here and there is no big.
Finally, to appeal to the thrill factor started getting lottery tickets every so often.
Which seemed to satisfy his persistent "get rich quick" itch. Ironically his spending
continued at a lower level, but still pretty persistent. The main difference was there was no longer expensive junk or monthly billing for scams. So it was a good
savings and he still had satisfying shopping experiences.
boredom:((
I have this problem with mother. She shops out of catalogs and about half of the time what she ordered was not what it 'appeared' to be. Then she'd try to return the items and refuse to pay the return S&H and we'd have dunning phone calls and she just DOESN'T get it.
After spending a good hour on the phone with several arms of a catalog company, trying to settle a $9.99 charge that had ballooned to over $120 due to late fees---I asked to cancel the catalog, as per her choice.
Sure enough, a week later she was calling me and asking me to reinstate the catalog.
She cannot stop spending and there is so much junk she does not need and returning things has become a problem--I am going to start slipping out 2-3 catalogs each time I visit and come home and cancel them on the internet. She won't miss them and she can still have a couple she loves.
I hate taking away EVERYTHING she loves. Even though she cannot possibly use 10% of the junk she orders.
Just turn them off. Most CC can no be turned on and off at will. This way, he can still use the cards when you let him. Just turn the card on. Let him make a purchase and then turn it back off. When it's off, the transaction will simply be declined. Just tell him that it's probably some technical glitch and maybe try again next week. Hopefully by then, he'll forget he wants to buy it.
Another way to do things is to set up a "business account" credit card. I did this (calling myself an insurance agent), and gave my dad an employee card. I put a limit of $100 per transaction and $300 per month. He can use it for groceries, doctor copays, and prescriptions with complete freedom unless something goes over. If he tries to charge more than $100 it will be denied. Once he goes over $200, each charge is declined until I raise the limit. Plus, I can look at his statement online and see what is going on. I gave another one to the caregiver to help with groceries, etc. I can check the account and make sure the money is being spent properly. You can change the limit per transaction or limit per month at any time on line.