Are you sure you want to exit? Your progress will be lost.
Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
✔
I acknowledge and authorize
✔
I consent to the collection of my consumer health data.*
✔
I consent to the sharing of my consumer health data with qualified home care agencies.*
*If I am consenting on behalf of someone else, I have the proper authorization to do so. By clicking Get My Results, you agree to our Privacy Policy. You also consent to receive calls and texts, which may be autodialed, from us and our customer communities. Your consent is not a condition to using our service. Please visit our Terms of Use. for information about our privacy practices.
Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
Share a few details and we will match you to trusted home care in your area:
My Mom is angry and nasty most the time. Most of it is directed towards my Dad. Lately I'm on the list because I try to tell her to be kind to Dad. Any suggestions?
Welcome to the Forum. I have no suggestions, but I'm sure others will. My MIL would be nasty every spring when they returned to New England from Florida. After listening to her when we all went out to eat, I pulled her aside and said she'd been pretty negative. The packing and traveling twice a year must be vey stressful. She was receptive (unlike later when aging brain was just angry). Direct approach worked that time, just not later. I knew I could never care for her or live with her.
Oh, one suggestion I've read here is to learn to go 'grey rock.' Type that above where the magnifying glass is to find out what it is.
Does your Mom have Dementia? Does your Dad? If Mom is primarily being "mean" to Dad and Dad is not suffering from dementia, then it makes good sense for you and Dad to have a Daughter-Dad talk together. Whether Mom has some dementia or not, those who are competent can learn to deflect some of her "stuff". The first thing is Do not react. If you argue, or if you accuse her of being mean, it will worsen. Look up "Grey Rock" on the forum by putting into search. People are apparently have some really good luck with it. You can google it as well. Basically it consists of remaining non reactive, non responsive, bland and mild and saying very very little in response to anything mean. For instance a tirade of accusations is met with a very bland and KIND "Oh, do you think so? I am so sorry you feel that way." Another tirade and it is "I am so sorry I failed you, but know I love you". And the answers get shorter and kinder as you go. It sounds as though it might make you want to tear out your hair, but it kind of gives them nowhere to do when met with kindness. Later you and Dad can leave the room and tear your hair out. So sorry you are going through this. If this is new for Mom or sudden change, be sure doc checks her and perhaps check a urinalysis. If this is just "Mom" then likely Dad is a bit used to it at the least.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Oh, one suggestion I've read here is to learn to go 'grey rock.' Type that above where the magnifying glass is to find out what it is.
If Mom is primarily being "mean" to Dad and Dad is not suffering from dementia, then it makes good sense for you and Dad to have a Daughter-Dad talk together. Whether Mom has some dementia or not, those who are competent can learn to deflect some of her "stuff". The first thing is
Do not react. If you argue, or if you accuse her of being mean, it will worsen.
Look up "Grey Rock" on the forum by putting into search. People are apparently have some really good luck with it. You can google it as well. Basically it consists of remaining non reactive, non responsive, bland and mild and saying very very little in response to anything mean. For instance a tirade of accusations is met with a very bland and KIND "Oh, do you think so? I am so sorry you feel that way." Another tirade and it is "I am so sorry I failed you, but know I love you". And the answers get shorter and kinder as you go. It sounds as though it might make you want to tear out your hair, but it kind of gives them nowhere to do when met with kindness.
Later you and Dad can leave the room and tear your hair out.
So sorry you are going through this. If this is new for Mom or sudden change, be sure doc checks her and perhaps check a urinalysis. If this is just "Mom" then likely Dad is a bit used to it at the least.