We are struggling as a family trying to find the best ways to handle this situation. My dad can't hold his bowels and bladder in and ends up leaving stuff in the hallway and bathroom. Even if he does manage to hold it in, he wets the entire toilet and surroundings.
We have bought extra towels for him to clean up after himself, slippers and floor mats so he doesn't drag the pee to the entire house, tells him to sit on the toilet to pee instead, nothing works.
We don't want to nag or make him feel unwanted. We recognise that he feels embarrassed and hides it with excuses. He's also showing signs of Alzheimers but he refuses to get it checked. What should we do? We're desperate.
If he turns out to be AD or dementia, then, I'd look into how to deal with incontinence. It's obvious that he's not able to manage on his own. Whoever is going to be his caretaker will need to learn how to supervise his bathroom visits and supervise him at all times. There comes a time, when it's not so much about embarrassing someone. It's a larger thing and it can be dealt with in a courteous and respectful way. Just asking him to do better, won't likely help, since if he could, he would.
Have him evaluated by his PCP for an infection or some other physiological malfunction. Check his skin often for skin breakdown and use a barrier cream to his buttock and inner thighs to prevent to prevent skin breakdown.
Good luck to you.