My client is in her 80s and capable of ADLs but her son hired me to care for her since she has Alzheimer's and she lives kind of unhealthy (eating snacks and sleeping all the time). So sometimes when she's napping she'll constantly tell me to leave and go home but she is not my boss, her son is. Then, she'll say that it's her house and I'm like a homeless person staying there. I'm not sure what to do in this situation. Advice is appreciated!
Discussing this with her son, perhaps a change of time might help. Many times people with dementia can become more difficult later in the day (sun-downing.) If having at least one good meal in the day is part of the goal, perhaps mid-day would work better?
I know your frustration - mom was like this too! Still somewhat "capable" but needing some oversight/checking, but after a short while she refused to let the aides in. In the end we had to move her to MC for her own safety and well-being.
I suggest being very honest with your client, saying things like: Your son wants to support you living as you wish in your home but he's concerned about you being here completely alone. So I'm here to ease your son's mind by helping with your medications and just being a daily check that you're okay. Your son would also like for me to do some things that might be easier with a second set of hands, like changing light bulbs or laundry. My agency requires a four hour shift and I cannot leave until my shift is over. I would prefer to have something to do, but if you don't have anything for me to do, is it okay if I sit at the kitchen table and read my book?
Try to engage her in Grandmotherly types of things. Ask her "do you know how to crochet, sew knit, make this type of casserole, cookies or to make spaghetti sauce"? Tell her that your Grandma died when you were little, and you never learned her "special" recipes, or how to do those "old fashion" things, especially baking and such, and that you would really Love to.
Then once you got her in the mood, suggest to her how you two can start preparing for the holidays, or you can help her to get ready for Christmas, buy her gifts online, decorate, and wrap her gifts. Find ways to be needy and useful at the same time.
Once she learns to trust and depend on you, you will become indispensable to her, and hopefully you will come to enjoy working with her too!
If she's not in a really bad mood, tell her she cannot be alone all the time. Ask her if she would rather live at a 'home' or facility... just to see what she says, Probably the answer is going to be she just wants to be at home alone, so with that you can tell her that the son cannot leave her at home alone anymore.
If that doesn't work, you'll just have to ignore it and grow a little rhino hide! Best of luck.
frankly, this is the toughest part of the day
is there anyway you can suggest to son to maybe switch up and be there late morning, cover lunch and leave as she goes down for a nap ?
they get tired, cranky and sundown in the afternoon
if you can connect with her earlier in the day then it might help and she may even take up a little activity with you that she'll begin to look forward to - puzzle, short walk weather permitting etc
I hope some of these suggestions can help you. There is a lot of good advice in this forum. Patience is also key. Best of luck to you and all involved.
To what extent have you been able to bond with her, and let her know that it could be really nice to make friends?
The caregiver was warned about his behavior and she ignored it and went about her business. It’s unfortunate these things happen but kind of goes with the territory.
I wouldn’t expect any personality changes from him this late in the game. He is most likely set in his ways.
I wish you well and hope things go as smoothly as possible.
Have you talked to her son and asked if he has any ideas how to deal with mom?
I would ask about maybe going outside for a bit to try and reset her time. Such a difficult situation to be in.
Try to stay busy and out of her way while she is wanting you to leave.
Talk to your employer about this and ask them if they want you to say anything specific.