My sister is bringing her best friend to my dad's rehab care plan meeting because "she has been through this before and knows what questions to ask." We have also been through this before with my mother. I have a list of questions. I don't think a friend should be brought to this meeting because she is not family and not part of the care plan going forward. My sister did not run this by any of us to see if there were any objections. This ticks me off. Am I wrong to be ticked off? I have requested that this friend hold her questions until all family members have asked theirs.
And yes, EVERYONE should be OK with this outsider being there. We meet as a family occasionally to dicuss mom and my SIL comes, uninvited and sits and glowers at us all. She doesn't offer and ideas and while, yes, mom lives with her and YB, she CHOSE that dynamic, against 4 other LOUD 'not a good idea' votes.
Sadly, 26 years later, mom is still living with YB and SIL, SIL is not mean, but is dismissive and mad. It makes open discussion absolutely impossible.
In fact, WHEN POSSIBLE I always advise people to bring a friend or a tape recorder to meetings to discuss all these things, and especially to discuss diagnosis and treatment. We get anxious. We don't hear. We miss the important questions to ask. I would, were I you, be gently honest about your feelings (they are proper and reasonable) at the meeting, that the friend is there for support and to help your sister, but that the family's questions should be allowed first if there is a time limit, and then the friend might suggest, having "been here" things that your Sister and you may need to know. This should be on the table. Do know that not all facilities even allow "outsiders" and your Sister may have to sit with friend BEFORE the conference, to tell her everything she can think of. And do know, no matter how many friends show up,often things are missed in any case. Good luck.