I’m a nurse/NP and the sole caregiver for my elderly mom. She’s currently in ICU and I’m unsure how this will affect her ability to age in place (which I had plans of doing if she recovers sufficiently. I remodeled her home and hired an in home caregiver in preparation for this. I cannot quit my job and stay home to care for her. If she needs to be placed in an assisted living facility or nursing home has anyone heard of working in the facility in exchange for care for your family?
Are you talking about providing private 1:1 care for your Mother?
In an AL for zero pay?
This cannot work.
1. You need a wage to live on
2. You need to receive a legal reported for taxation wage from your employer.
3. The AL must charge fair & transparent fees to all their residents.
4. As an employee, you would be required to perform the duties of your role.
5. Favoritism is unethical.
6. Family members are usually not allowed to work in facilities with close kin directly due to the issue.
I could go on.. but maybe I misunderstood?
Is this really more about the reality of post ICU care? Of Mother's care needs being higher than you planned? About your expectations? Your well-planned age at home plan being derailed?
It's certainly worth tears over.
"Aging in place" is mostly mythical because it reallly means "unpaid family orbits around the elder giving the illusion of independence". It means taking care of their finances and yours, their medical needs and yours, all their transportation, their home maintenance and repairs plus yours, etc. It's exhausting for most people and they burn out pretty quickly.
I commend you for at least having a plan. Please don't quit your job. Sell her home to pay for her care. Get her into a good, reputable, local facility that has a continuum of care levels and also accepts Medicaid. Once she runs out of money and needs LTC then she will transition smoothly and it will be paid for. It's not the perfect solution or the one you hoped for, but sometimes we have to settle for the least bad option. It will still meet her needs and yours.
I wish you peace in your heart on this journey.