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By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
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V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
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Music can be very good for people with alzheimer's or other cognitive impairment. It needn't be just passively listening, but can incorporate movement, singing, etc. Did you wife like music or dancing when she was younger? Do you like dancing? Maybe you could persuade her to dance with you, sing with you or sing along with familiar songs from YouTube or other sources. You (or someone) can create a personalized playlist for your wife and have it on a tablet or other device; she can use wireless headphones which eliminates other distractions.
Same here with my MIL. She is in a memory care facility where the director plans great activities. MIL does not participate at all. MIL was a painter in her younger years, now she won't even pick up a paint brush or sketch pad. When we visit we participate in activities to try and see if she would join in, she just sits and watches. When she is in her apartment she will sit there all day and look out the window. When we offer to put on the tv or music she says no. I always feel horrible when leaving and she is sitting in a quiet apartment. It is so frustrating at times
I used to feel sad leaving patients sitting, lying, doing nothing. So I started asking what they wanted. The radio? TV? Something to do? Or peace & quiet?
Very often the answer was peace & quiet.
One lady just liked to watch 'her tree' outside.
Most had dementia, many advanced, only speaking when asked direct questions. The 'tree lady' didn't want too much noise or lights. Said she liked people, but not all the time now. Was happy with her tree.
She helped me a lot.
Made me think of a young baby in a pram gazing at the trees with wonder - perfectly happy with just gazing.
Is there an activity that you want to participate in? If so just bring her with you. If she sits and watches at least she will have some visual stimulation that is different than sitting at home. Take her for a walk. (if she is in a wheelchair I still consider that taking her for a walk). Take time for yourself to sit on a bench and just watch what is going on around you. A bit of "mindful meditation" or just getting a few minutes to allow yourself to do nothing but appreciate the moment. That is good for your soul! I think many people with dementia have a fear in the back of their head that they are going to do something wrong. Or it is confusing. It is difficult to remember how to do things as well as actually not knowing how to do things they used to do. There is nothing "wrong" with letting her do nothing as long as you are not ignoring her or her needs. Let her be with her thoughts such as they are, you never know what is actually going on in her mind. She may be processing a conversation you had earlier, it takes time to process thoughts.
How physically active is she? Can she walk? Does she require a walker? How old is she? What interests did she have previously? Does she like to read? Look at photo albums? And neighbors or friends or family phone occasionally? Does she like to sit outside?
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/alzheimers-disease/expert-answers/music-and-alzheimers/faq-20058173
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G7vkKHYosuQ
Very often the answer was peace & quiet.
One lady just liked to watch 'her tree' outside.
Most had dementia, many advanced, only speaking when asked direct questions. The 'tree lady' didn't want too much noise or lights. Said she liked people, but not all the time now. Was happy with her tree.
She helped me a lot.
Made me think of a young baby in a pram gazing at the trees with wonder - perfectly happy with just gazing.
Take her for a walk. (if she is in a wheelchair I still consider that taking her for a walk). Take time for yourself to sit on a bench and just watch what is going on around you. A bit of "mindful meditation" or just getting a few minutes to allow yourself to do nothing but appreciate the moment. That is good for your soul!
I think many people with dementia have a fear in the back of their head that they are going to do something wrong. Or it is confusing. It is difficult to remember how to do things as well as actually not knowing how to do things they used to do.
There is nothing "wrong" with letting her do nothing as long as you are not ignoring her or her needs. Let her be with her thoughts such as they are, you never know what is actually going on in her mind. She may be processing a conversation you had earlier, it takes time to process thoughts.