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My weak, very passive, with a brain injury adult son is bedridden in a home. He never refuses or has ever refused any bathing or hygiene. He often doesn’t speak. Caregivers say they clean him only with bed baths using castor oil, water and a washcloth. I provided actual hair shampoo without conditioners and gentle body soap because he was frequently smelling sour and looks greasy. Not sure if they using it though. What is the yellowish, chunky, greasy build-up in his hair? If you comb through his hair it will stick to the comb. It’s disgusting. I’ve never seen or even heard of this before. His hair looks greasy and if you move his short hair it will stay like that that like rarely washed or has a build-up.


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You “spend time at his home helping with his therapies and other activities”. It would probably be a good idea to be there at bed bath time and see what actually happens. Then you can ask on the spot for more details about what and why.

Your son’s quality of life is clearly very poor, many of us would not wish to live with it. As your son is so young this will probably go on for the rest of your life. If you die first, will the quality of life for him be even worse? You are sacrificing a lot for him. Perhaps counseling about your own life might be a good thing.
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Reply to MargaretMcKen
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The place he’s living needs to use the shampoo and body wash you provide to wash hair and bathe your son until he’s clean. If they aren’t doing so, meet with the person in charge and state your expectations and request firmly nothing like oil be used. Keeping residents clean is a basic requirement of any caregiving facility. After seeing your profile info, I’d encourage you to build a life with others along with visiting your son and being his advocate. I have an adult son with a lifelong complex medical condition and brain injury, he’s a welcome part of my life, but he’s not my entire life. There’s a balance in caring for our adult children and providing for our on emotional, physical, and mental health needs. You matter too.
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Reply to Daughterof1930
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This could be seborrheic keratosis of the scalp. Google (or other search engine) the condition and also look up "scalp conditions images" to try to self diagnose this. Caregivers should be reporting this to MD and there are special shampoos that may help; speak to a pharmacist after your research. There are easy and good ways to give shampoo to the bedridden using a padded plastic bedpan and pitchers of water. Good luck. You can also take pictures of this condition and give to doctor or use zoom call for MD to witness what you are seeing and recommend something.
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Reply to AlvaDeer
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