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I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
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V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Do not take every piece of clothing in the closet. Start packing only the clothing found in the laundry hamper over a period of 2 weeks. Because that is an easy way to determine what is being used.
Take a favorite chair, favorite things, things being used.
The professional advice was meant to choose from the laundry used over a period of two weeks. Yes, that is 14 days. If that is wayyy too many clothes, you can bring some home. Or take less. JoAnn's advice was excellent: " "You will find yourself taking things in and taking things home."
Of course you won't be taking anything not allowed, or anything that there is no room allotted. That is just common sense.
The husband is going to a War Veterans home. It does not say what level of care, SNF, LTC, AL, or Memory Care will be at the home.
Maybe check with the facility for a list of suggested items. Take less if he is sharing a room.
Two weeks of clothes is a lot. I would find out the laundry cycle. Do they do each residents laundry separately, if so, how often? In my Moms facility everyones clothes were done at the same time and turn around was 3 days. Mom had nine outfits. Not because I bought them, thats what she had at home. I only took in seasonal clothing. She had over 12 prs of socks but only got 3 sets back at a time. Can you imagine sorting socks for all those residents. And when short staffed, last job done. I provided 3 pairs of shoes of different colors and they only used one pair. The ones left by the bed the night before.
I worried about Mom matching so I kept her sets together. No problem when I washed but when I finally had them do the laundry, I still matched up. But you have a man so not as important. He can stay with basic colors. I found that socks should be just one color. Shoes easy to take on and off. Maybe a nice slipper and save his shoes for if you or they need to take him somewhere. Put his name inside everything. They should be tagging his clothing anyway. But shoes, you may need to get a marker to put his name inside on the side.
There should be no need for toiletries. They should give u a list of what they provide. Usually, shampoo, soap, toothpaste, toothbrush...I had all these by Moms bed with a note "please use" and for some reason, none of the aides used Moms stuff. They should provide bed linens and blankets but I took in a nice bedspread. The provide towels.
Do not take anything of value or that is sentimental. People do wander into other peoples rooms and may take something out on a table. Favorite chair...that will determine how much room he is given. Moms did not allow a chair. My Aunts did.
You will find yourself taking things in and taking things home. I did make afghans for my grandmom and Aunt to give their rooms some color. I was young when I did my grandmoms and it got lost. When I questioned where was it, I was told without a name tag they know a person had one so they get one. So with my Aunts, I embroidered her name in.
Just realize that DH may not get the same care u would give him. So pick your battles. I had my RN daughter who had worked in NHs to ask what should I complain about and what I needed to let go. And, by law, they cannot force him to do anything he does not want to.
Pictures, take pictures. I took pictures of every piece of clothing I took in. Her glasses and if she had had a hearing aide, that too. Shoes and personal items too.
One week's worth of clothing, but extra socks and underwear on top of that. Shoes, slippers, robe, pajamas. Put his name on every single item, and I recommend those sew-in tags rather than laundry markers, because the markers do wash out and the iron-on ones fall off eventually.
(Tags available here -- https://www.amazon.com/Personalized-Clothes-Childrens-Clothing-Children/dp/B00JNC210S/ref=mp_s_a_1_4?crid=3Q0MKLK0M98N5&keywords=personalized+clothing+tags+sew+in&qid=1652374582&sprefix=personalized+clothing+tags%2Caps%2C141&sr=8-4 )
Personal items -- toothbrush, toothpaste, body wash, glasses, razor (if allowed), Kleenex if it isn't provided. Name written on everything.
Books if he wants them, personal photos. Be cognizant of the space he's alloted, because if he doesn't have much space don't clutter it up with too much. You can start with bringing very little and bring more if needed.
Keeperofthegate, This move will be a separation for the two of you. As you age, and as your husband ages, is there a possibility that the two of you might qualify for assisted living together in the home?
No reply necessary if you have already considered this as an option.
Ball cap with his military patch, photos of family members and maybe his military friends, any games he likes to play (Walmart still sells handheld Gameboy), auto books or real books starting with the "The Greatest Generation," by Tom Brokaw. Music, in some form that he enjoys or remembers fondly. If he's taking a computer, a subscription to his hometown newspaper, Memory Game Subscription, Luminosity.
Lots of comfortable and decent looking lounge pants and colorful t-shirts (long and short sleeves). A couple of nice looking lightweight jackets. Toiletries of course. His favorite candies, mints and maybe popcorn subscription if he likes it https://opopop.com/collections/discovery-kits/products/pop-cups-discovery-kit). Letters from home, letters from family and friends and FaceTime calls......of course, there's nothing sweeter than personal visits that include laughter and hugs and a short trip outside in the warmth of the sun.
A classmate had posted a picture of the WWII hat she bought for her Dad who was in a NH. I went in to visit my Mom who was in Rehab in the same building. Mr R had lost a lot of weight and aged. If it wasn't fot that hat I would have walked right past him. He was glad to see a familiar face.
Put his name on all clothing items so that when they get washed they don't go astray. Any type of entertainment for him would be good like cards, tablet if he knows how to work one so that you two can keep in touch. Have his phone with all the numbers so that he can call be on a plan so that you don't have to put minutes in it manually. Any type of personal items that he would need including pictures of you and the family. If he has a favorite chair see if you can bring it along with him. Any type of blankets in case he gets cold. If he has a favorite pillow take it.
There are some really good suggestions that you have been given! What my relative enjoyed was a small cd player wroth head phones so as not to bother others, but we got him several audio books. He loved them. Also, not sure if they allow it, but a small smart tv that he can use his ear phones with so as not to bother others. Again, everything needs to be marked.
I would ask the laundress if they tag clothing. At Moms NH the machine they used to tag the labels did not come off. To get them off, they had to use the machine to get them off. They tag everything but shoes.
Less is more. (This advice is more for those whose LOs have memory issues.) When we did this move the first time, we placed all sorts of knick-knacks from home around: pieces of art she had made over the years, vases, little sculptures, fancy coasters for the little coffee table, favorite DVDs. Again, all from home, to recreate a sense of home for her.
Well the coffee table ended up shoved behind the La-Z-Boy that she refused to sit in, the vases and sculptures and art ended up hidden behind the toilet or in bags stuffed in the back of her closet, the DVDs ended up hidden behind the couch, the family photos were under the couch cushions, and the fancy coasters got stuffed in the purse she never used except to hide her things away and then forget she did that. Not only did she hide her own things away in odd places, but she'd taken decor items that belonged to the facility and done the same.
For move #2, it got a lot more basic. Necessities, but fewer things that she was just going to find a hiding place for.
HIya. Well, you have to know if he's in a private room or not. I know semi-private just accepts the bare necessities. Pajama's, his size and perhaps a size bigger. My hubby gained 30 pounds when he went to the NH. Pictures for the walls, his shaver. Does he read? A few of his treasured books. A smart tv if you can afford one, and a vcr or cd player. I'm just thinking of everything my husband has. A large clock if you can get one running. You get the idea. I do hope you have the courage to ask him also what he would like.If he can answer or indicate, that would be great. I'm sorry he has to go away. It's tough, isn't it? I see my husband almost every day but it's sure not the same as having them home. Take care and God Bless. Temper
When it comes to photos, consider if it’s something you’d want a duplicate of. We had a family member that destroyed many of the photos his wife brought in that were irreplaceable. They were thrown away so she couldn’t even retrieve the pieces.
Wow. Hard to imagine what’s going through their mnds when they do something like that.
My aunt (alzheimers) lost most of her memories relating to a 15-year block of time. She and her husband did a lot of traveling w a group of friends and she had a big photo album of all the trips and countless parties. I brought her the album to sit and go through and talk about during a visit. She got VERY distressed. She recognized herself and her husband in the pics, but NOBODY else! She got angry and vocal, confused by the pics of them obviously having a great time with strangers.
She slammed it closed after a couple of pages and yelled at me to take it away.
she had another photo album of her and husband’s 60th wedding anniversary party. She looked at it every day. Many times she acted like it was the first time she saw those pics. Sometimes she remembered the event.
This list seems pretty complete. A 8 1/2 X 11 spiral notebook, or composition book and pens. Sharpies are good for people with poor vision because they make a very bold mark that is easy to read. I might add a lightweight tote bag. My husband was in AL for 2 months recovery after an illness. He carried a tote bag with his notebook, pens, and other incidentals everywhere. Much like a lady and her purse. When you arrange his room try to set it up as much like his room at home as you can. Have the nightstand on the "normal" side of the bed, the bathroom entrance on the side he is used too, dresser drawers arranged similarly to his dresser at home. This will lessen the learning curve a bit. It's nice to have pictures and knick knacks from home, but clutter can be very disorienting, especially for dementia patients. Bring a few favorites and if he asks for anything bring it over (where is that cat figurine we had on the shelf??) Best of luck to both of you. Glad you found this forum.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Start packing only the clothing found in the laundry hamper over a period of 2 weeks.
Because that is an easy way to determine what is being used.
Take a favorite chair, favorite things, things being used.
JoAnn's advice was excellent: "
"You will find yourself taking things in and taking things home."
Of course you won't be taking anything not allowed, or anything that there is no room allotted. That is just common sense.
The husband is going to a War Veterans home. It does not say what level of care, SNF, LTC, AL, or Memory Care will be at the home.
Maybe check with the facility for a list of suggested items.
Take less if he is sharing a room.
Shampoo
Soap
Toothbrush
toothpaste
Kleenex
Lotions
2 sets of towels and sheets
Clothing must be labeled.
I worried about Mom matching so I kept her sets together. No problem when I washed but when I finally had them do the laundry, I still matched up. But you have a man so not as important. He can stay with basic colors. I found that socks should be just one color. Shoes easy to take on and off. Maybe a nice slipper and save his shoes for if you or they need to take him somewhere. Put his name inside everything. They should be tagging his clothing anyway. But shoes, you may need to get a marker to put his name inside on the side.
There should be no need for toiletries. They should give u a list of what they provide. Usually, shampoo, soap, toothpaste, toothbrush...I had all these by Moms bed with a note "please use" and for some reason, none of the aides used Moms stuff. They should provide bed linens and blankets but I took in a nice bedspread. The provide towels.
Do not take anything of value or that is sentimental. People do wander into other peoples rooms and may take something out on a table. Favorite chair...that will determine how much room he is given. Moms did not allow a chair. My Aunts did.
You will find yourself taking things in and taking things home. I did make afghans for my grandmom and Aunt to give their rooms some color. I was young when I did my grandmoms and it got lost. When I questioned where was it, I was told without a name tag they know a person had one so they get one. So with my Aunts, I embroidered her name in.
Just realize that DH may not get the same care u would give him. So pick your battles. I had my RN daughter who had worked in NHs to ask what should I complain about and what I needed to let go. And, by law, they cannot force him to do anything he does not want to.
Pictures, take pictures. I took pictures of every piece of clothing I took in. Her glasses and if she had had a hearing aide, that too. Shoes and personal items too.
Always check with the facility first.
(Tags available here -- https://www.amazon.com/Personalized-Clothes-Childrens-Clothing-Children/dp/B00JNC210S/ref=mp_s_a_1_4?crid=3Q0MKLK0M98N5&keywords=personalized+clothing+tags+sew+in&qid=1652374582&sprefix=personalized+clothing+tags%2Caps%2C141&sr=8-4 )
Personal items -- toothbrush, toothpaste, body wash, glasses, razor (if allowed), Kleenex if it isn't provided. Name written on everything.
Books if he wants them, personal photos. Be cognizant of the space he's alloted, because if he doesn't have much space don't clutter it up with too much. You can start with bringing very little and bring more if needed.
This move will be a separation for the two of you.
As you age, and as your husband ages, is there a possibility that the two of you might qualify for assisted living together in the home?
No reply necessary if you have already considered this as an option.
Hoping that your needs will be considered. 🙂
Lots of comfortable and decent looking lounge pants and colorful t-shirts (long and short sleeves). A couple of nice looking lightweight jackets. Toiletries of course. His favorite candies, mints and maybe popcorn subscription if he likes it https://opopop.com/collections/discovery-kits/products/pop-cups-discovery-kit). Letters from home, letters from family and friends and FaceTime calls......of course, there's nothing sweeter than personal visits that include laughter and hugs and a short trip outside in the warmth of the sun.
Prayers to you and your family
Well the coffee table ended up shoved behind the La-Z-Boy that she refused to sit in, the vases and sculptures and art ended up hidden behind the toilet or in bags stuffed in the back of her closet, the DVDs ended up hidden behind the couch, the family photos were under the couch cushions, and the fancy coasters got stuffed in the purse she never used except to hide her things away and then forget she did that. Not only did she hide her own things away in odd places, but she'd taken decor items that belonged to the facility and done the same.
For move #2, it got a lot more basic. Necessities, but fewer things that she was just going to find a hiding place for.
Take care and God Bless.
Temper
My aunt (alzheimers) lost most of her memories relating to a 15-year block of time. She and her husband did a lot of traveling w a group of friends and she had a big photo album of all the trips and countless parties. I brought her the album to sit and go through and talk about during a visit. She got VERY distressed. She recognized herself and her husband in the pics, but NOBODY else! She got angry and vocal, confused by the pics of them obviously having a great time with strangers.
She slammed it closed after a couple of pages and yelled at me to take it away.
she had another photo album of her and husband’s 60th wedding anniversary party. She looked at it every day. Many times she acted like it was the first time she saw those pics. Sometimes she remembered the event.
I might add a lightweight tote bag. My husband was in AL for 2 months recovery after an illness. He carried a tote bag with his notebook, pens, and other incidentals everywhere. Much like a lady and her purse.
When you arrange his room try to set it up as much like his room at home as you can. Have the nightstand on the "normal" side of the bed, the bathroom entrance on the side he is used too, dresser drawers arranged similarly to his dresser at home. This will lessen the learning curve a bit.
It's nice to have pictures and knick knacks from home, but clutter can be very disorienting, especially for dementia patients. Bring a few favorites and if he asks for anything bring it over (where is that cat figurine we had on the shelf??)
Best of luck to both of you. Glad you found this forum.