Yesterday got the news from the drs that my grandmother is now on end of life care and i sat with her during the night playing her favourite music and speaking to her but every so often she was trying to say something and I think it was my name. I don't want her to be in any pain or distress doing this am I causing more harm than good?
I say some variation of this every day, pat her silvery hair and kiss it, wave to her as I pass her bed to leave her room.
Her body is so failed that I’m afraid to touch her, yet she isn’t ready to let go. I’m as stubborn as she is and I’m learning some lessons from her even now, about why to be stubborn and why to “let go”. She isn’t ready, I guess, to teach me “when”.
So yes, be as peaceful and gentle and soothing to her as you can. What’s soothing for you as you offer it to her with love, is most likely what’s soothing to her. Be at peace.
Sorry your grandma is doing so poorly. But 91 is a ripe old age. I don't think anyone in my family has made it past 83!