lady i take care of just dont seem to have any common sense with most things. do these patients lose common sense? its so frustrating for me, cuz she knows she's right about a certain situation and u cant convince her otherwise, even though if she used common sense she would get it. example, i noticed she was starting to spit everywhere, after a day or so , i asked her why she was doing that. she said the spit in her mouth was ganna kill her. i told her to think about that, if swollowing ur spit is ganna kill u, we'd all be dead. but she is dead set on it.
You can pretty well count on things getting worse. That is what a progressive disease does. But how fast it gets worse and how long each stage lasts is far less certain. And what is "worse" clinically might not be worse for the caregivers.
Also the published descriptions of "stages" of dementia apply only to Alzheimer's. Nearly half of persons with dementia have a different kind -- instead of or in addition to Alz. While it can be helpful to read those stages don't be surprised if they don't match your loved one's.
As for things that help ... yes, sometimes there are meds or adjustments to current meds that can help and also ways for the caregivers to approach things that help. I suggest that you start a new post asking specifically about the behaviors that concern your family, and those of us with experience can respond specifically.
Sometimes when you are in the middle of a strange conversation with someone with the big A, you lose your own logic. So it helps to have friends like you to come up with these great ideas. So many of my caregiver friends tell me you feel like you are losing your own sensibilities when you are taking care of loved ones with dementia etc. I get it.
BTW: I find in the general population of people, common sense isn't really that common. So expecting it in an Alzheimer's victim isn't really fair.
The candy idea? The "spit sanitizer"?? Brilliant!!!! That's thinking outside the box and making things easier for both of you.
Figure out what bothers you about her spitting, and then work on that. "Oh. OK. If you are needing to spit often, let's get you a spit cup to carry around." (Or a hanky, or a little pack of tissues, etc.) Or you might even say, next time I come I am going to bring you a special spit sanitizer that will clean your salvia and allow you to swallow it. (It is amazing how much the spit sanitizer looks like peppermint life savers.)
In other words, work within her reality, because you are not going to bring her into yours. She needs to know that you are on her side, that you accept her, and that you'll try to provide comfort and protection. She doesn't need you to correct her, because that just isn't going to work.
For me it was easier not to make a big thing about it, just try to help situation. Mom was still in her right mind enough to fight with me about things she thought was right. I learned how to work around her mindset. But that wasn't easy. So I left it go unless there was a safety issue involved.