She is an 80-year-old woman that lives alone but no longer seems able to take care of herself. Her house is a mess we have been quoted by cleaners it will cost us $3000 to get it cleaned and mold and trash and Reminisce of rodents etc. She doesn’t empty her garbage she’s incontinent she doesn’t eat right her food in the refrigerator is all spoiled after she spends her social security ck of $2000 she is spending it all within weeks, on Uber eats, Amazon etc. She stays in bed most of the day we suspect she is over medicating herself. She does not want to leave the house, take a bath, socialize, drive etc. She will not allow us to get in- home health care, house cleaners she just has become a recluse and a hoarder . What legal action do we need so we can we get help for her?
There may be some legal action that the county can take if the home is a fire hazard or unsafe for habitation. I would ask them to check on that.
You might consider contacting APS who will do a visit. I would tell them you feel the home is a health hazard, that you cannot assess your mom's mentation, and that you fear she isn't competent to make her own decisions.
I would take care NOT to become her POA. This is a difficult job, an onerous task full of decisions, record keeping, maintenance and etc. It is hard enough when you are operating with the full cooperation of your elder, but impossible in these circumstances.
I am so sorry it has come to this. Consider a call to your local Council on Aging for further pointers or options.
And sadly you may just have to wait until an "incident" happens(and don't worry it will)until you can take the necessary actions to get her placed in the appropriate facility.
#2. Self-neglect. Again, can be signs as above. Or choice.
#3. Local authroities may be able to advise what level of squalor/hoarding/self-neglect is deemed UNSAFE to the extent authorities will investigate. (eg Council of Aging, APS, licenced Social Worker)
#4. Rights. Everyone has the presumption of capacity. The right to live as they wish - unless causing serious risk to self or others, or deemed incapable (medically or legally).
#5. Responsibility.
"quoted by cleaners it will cost us $3000 to get it cleaned"
MIL's stuff = MIL pays for cleanup