I will try to keep this short. I met this women doing Pet Therapy in a hospital when her husband was dying of cancer. I visited with them both every day from September til March of the following year when he pasted. As a result of that, we became very close. Now I do have a mom of my own, but we became good friends and bonded and would lots of things together. Let me tell you though, this women was very independent. I did not dote on her. There was also a nurse who worked in the hospital who befriended her too. And the three of us became very close. This happened in 2009-2010. So life goes on and all is good and we always would do things together and we had yearly things we would do. I would include her with my family and the nurse friend her family. We would go on trips together, birthdays, holidays, etc. So this woman (my step mom I will call her) always would say to everyone she knew that this nurse and I were her adopted daughters because people would always ask...OH are these your daughters and she had no kids with her husband. And we would always say she was our adopted mom. OH and by the way, I promised her husband on his death bed that we, the nurse and I, would always be there to take care of her. I cannot even list how many things we have experienced together wanting nothing from each other but love and friendship and respect. Now most of her family has either died or lived overseas in Europe where she was born. She did have her husband's sister and brother in law who lived nearby here. But a couple of years ago they both fell ill and passed. Now pay attention because this is where it gets weird. In July of this year, my step mom fell ill with blood clots in her lungs, legs and elsewhere. She almost died. But the device I pay for that is on her wrist saved her and an ambulance come and got her. Both me and the nurse (who I will call my adopted sister) were by her side through it all, of course. Then my adopted mom came home. All of sudden this Aide (LPN) starts calling my step mom. It was an Aide that supposedly cared for her former sister in law and brother in law. Now my step mom for some reason never really said anything to my adopted sister but all of sudden this Aide is over my step mom's house bringing stupid unhealthy gifts and her daughter too (who's in college) and they intertwine into my step mom's life. She kept saying I promised the sister in law I would take care of her??? We are like What??? And mind you, she is sneaky and not forth coming. Next thing we know this women is sleeping over my step moms. I'm like what??? Now it takes another twist. A few years ago, my step mom asked me to find her a lawyer to do her will. Which I did and she had it drawn up. My step sister and I have POA. And when my step mom's sister in law passed away, they set up a trust for my step mom. But when they passed and my step mom told me about the trust, she would always say that she doesn't understand it. And I said, let me go with you to the lawyer and then he can explain it and we can all understand what it is about. (The two lawyers are not the same...just to clarify). So supposedly my step mom was getting a lump sum every month. But then my step sister overhears this Aide telling my step mom that she needs money because she is a single mom...etc. . Now this women owns a house, her son drives a Tesla, her daughter goes to college free because this women works at one, and she's just fine. Long story short she is praying on my step mom and her fears. She is taking advantage of her financially. So now listen to what happened. In Feb, this aide left her alone for 10 minutes when she shouldn't. She was taking care of my step mom because my step mom insisted she do so. And my step sister and I did not know what to do. There's so much more to this story but try to read between the lines. Things have escalated and I do not know what to do. I called the lawyer who wrote up the will and told him my concerns. Need advice.
You end your missive with the fact that her aid "left her alone for 10 minutes"? That could happen putting clothes in the dryer or going to the bathroom. Plus which is your "step-mom friend" is now apparently in 24/7 care at home,: who are the hired caregivers?
Your friend's money is in a Trust. She is a friend of a decade and she has asked you to serve as her POA along with the other friend of a decade. Trusts are not ever managed by POAs, only by Trustees.
She has ALSO apparently either hired or "adopted" another friend, stepdaughter, careworker? And this person is now doing 24/7 care for her? You seem not to know whether this woman is an aid or an LPN --there is a huge difference. One is a licensed nurse and the other is not.
You claim this aid or LPN says she needs money because she is a single Mom. Yes, I would assume that's why she is working. It is a job and we generally work our jobs for money. Or is it NOT a job? And she is yet another "adopted daughter". Do you have PROOF that your friend-stepmom has given this woman any money other than payment for services?
If you suspect fraud you can go about that in any number of ways to protect your friend.
An LPN is licensed by a Board in your State. She can be reported for wrong doing. You will need proof of same. She will be investigated.
Nowhere do you claim that your friend-stepmom is demented and in need of your managing her funds as her POA, because IF she IS demented you have a fiduciary duty to protect her money by proving she is incompetent, then setting up a safe management of her funds. (Are you aware that trusts are not managed by POAs, but rather by Trustees, so you would need to be both POA and Trustee of Trust to do that?) You and your co -POA/Trustee would then be responsible for a safe and meticulous accounting of every single penny in and out of your friend-stepmom's accounts with meticulous files. You would take on hiring and firing and placement if needed.
Time, I would say, for a sit down talk with your "step-mom" to discuss all this, and to give voice to your worries of whether or not she is giving this aid (or LPN) money outside of payment for care. And do know, if she is competent it is her right to give anyone she wishes any money she wishes.
If you suspect fraud then a report to APS with your proof and with what you told us should get the investigative ball rolling.
Again, basically this all comes down to ONE THING. Is your stepmom/friend demented or is she NOT. Nothing else is really relevant here.
Given the general loose messiness of ALL of this, I think it would be wise for you and your "friend- sister-co POA-co stepdaughter" to buy a few hours of time with an Elder Law Attorney. This all sounds too much of a mess to iron out otherwise.
I wish you the best of luck.
Best wishes to you and your stepmom.