Hospice prolonged my wife’s life for at least 3-4 weeks. The admitting nurse solved a problem that 2 docs and 3 nurses failed to figure. She spent close to 8 straight hours on my wife. I was able to help and spent 2-3 hours at that. We knew she was close to the end. That effort prolonged her life about a month and made it comfortable. No Medicaid.
That last month gave us all the chance to visit, say goodbye and “take care of business.” Grand daughter flew across country (DC to CA + 300 mile loop) and was with her when she died. Daughter drove 300 miles round trip 3 times a week and was with her when she died. Number 2 son cross 3/4 country and 300 mile loop. I visited every day [16 mile loop :-)]. Her favorite Hymns were played, she heard them, was alert and obviously enjoyed them with 2 grand children daughter and son-in-law. Daughter climbed up on the bed, lay down and held her mom. I gathered her into my arms and said my good bye. I rubbed her itching feet one day - oh she liked that just like old times. The church Pastor visited twice at least which was very important to our daughter. His Vicar played a guitar and they also sang those Hymns to her. Wife's Doc visited twice for sure maybe 3 times. Lady Doc - no charge.
The hospice nurse was super. The bath nurse was super. All the caregivers were super clock around - I got to know most of them. They had all worked there several years - one for 16. That tells you something. One was the MIL of our neighbors brother. The neighbor went to high school with the AL home owner who is good friends with one of our nephews. He was over to our house twice to help things along before I placed her . After death Hospice offered me 13 months of counseling which I declined.
I was with her till 5 hours before she died and didn’t want to see her again so my last memory of her would be and was of her still alive.
That’s what Hospice and the AL home did for us.
And another meddler made inappropriate remarks about my sibling. The good guest told me later about the meddling, as I had already left.
The staff agreed that the care meddling was intolerable, and after more discussion agreed that it would be appropriate to tell these undesirables that visiting was restricted from here on in b/c my father was close to dying. The meddlers ignored the restriction and came anyway, as I learned later.
One of the positive aspects was the willingness of the religious staff (this was a religious hospice) to spend time with Dad, find a good station on the tv with soothing music, and to spend time comforting him.
One of the medical staff brought me a pot of coffee, water, and munchies as Dad got closer to the end, and I spent more time with him.
The experience overall was as positive as a negative event can be, and I was certainly glad I chose that facility, even though we had never been there before.
The DON even came in to help me pack up my father's belongings.
GMNPXL, I appreciate your sharing your positive experiences. Periodically those who don't completely understand the hospice purpose and process post very detrimental and negative posts, so it's good to learn that someone had a positive experience in a very challenging and depressing aspect of life.
The first hospice people were good, but didn't bring to our attention an option a hospice SW who took over later did. That my dad, being a veteran on hospice, could stay at a SNF with VA contracts for free. Had we known this before my family would have saved many thousands of dollars.
My father, who’d passed about 25 years before, had come to her room at about 4;30 the last afternoon I was there. I’ll swear he was there, fresh showered with Lifebuoy Soap. In his brown tweed suit, and take her hand so that I could go home.
The hospice team had her bathed and dressed when I got there that last afternoon, and for the first time in weeks, her skin was soft and warm, and she looked peaceful and relaxed.
Their efforts that February day were priceless. I’ll never forget......
the hospice doctor never seen her as a patent.
Her husband put her in hospice against her will, everyone know she was Not dying but no hospice nurse would help her. Matter of fact, the day before she finally got to the hospital, the hospice nurse asked her husband, do you want me just to give her morphine? She kept telling them that she still wanted medical treatment.