notrydoyoda Posted January 2012
The Caregiver & Dysfunctional Families: How are you doing?
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the people you'd take a bullet for
are the ones behind the trigger."
"If you stop telling lies about me,
I'll stop telling the truth about you."
So sorry to hear about your Covid ordeal. I hope you and your husband have a complete recovery.
Notrydoyoda last posted around the end of September.
Hopefully he will see your post soon.
I haven’t posted in a few months. A lot has been going on, mostly we both became sick with Covid. First my husband, he was coughing a lot on a Saturday, then the next day he slept on the couch. I tried to get him up but he refused. Because he had gone to Oregon on Saturday to get gummies, I assumed he was stoned but I kept trying to get him to go to bed. Monday came, no improvement. I discovered he had been urinating on the couch since Sunday. I called 911. EMT’s came out, my hubs oxygen sats were in the low 80’s,heart rate was up and down. They told me he had to go to the hospital. After getting our dog and cats settled, my daughter and I went to the hospital. We were told he tested positive for Covid, chest x-ray was negative for pneumonia. Glucose was as high as 400. My hubs had not eaten since Saturday nor had he taken his diabetes meds since Saturday he spent 10 days in the hospital and I tested positive 3 days after hubs was admitted. My case was very mild possibly because I keep up on vaccines and the last vaccine hubs got was March 2023. I don’t know if this has any reason why hubs got so sick.
Hubs still has Covid brain fog, he will be fine for a couple days, then he sleeps a lot and his brain is foggy. He has to have a cognitive test in a month. Even before he became sick with Covid, I noticed some small cognitive concerns with him. I shrugged it off as being retired… we can forget what day of the week it is since we aren’t living on a calendar schedule anymore.
have a good October and find joy in small things.
The next time someone is verbally abusive/toxic to you, ask them:
if they need to take a break so they can get a snack and calm down.
When my father died , my sister was doing the deep cleaning, I was doing the errands, appointments, and the everyday thing, like garbage.
My sister, disappeared ( now completely understandable) mom thought I was going to do the deeper cleaning. I told her straight up I'll clean what ever you want if you want to go watch Hallmark, and I'll happily "have at it" she did not like that one tiny bit! And that solved that issue, she never asked again.
But that didn't change her other manipulative control ways. Just the one issue. I thought I was setting boundaries and I was but they just find other ways to manage you. So watch out for the sneaky covert games
Move the office supplies out of the room .
When Mom balks , too bad . Look at it as an exercise for you , to stand up to her .
You can leave her some writing paper if she uses it . But don’t bring her envelopes . You take whatever she writes that she wants mailed out of the room and you take care of the envelope without her input .
Ignore her ranting .
"I should also note she doesn't like how I staple things or how I'll paperclip things. I opt to have the staples going horizontal and she wants them going on the diagonal. I mean, does it make THAT much of a difference?"
You realize you two sound like an old, bickering couple?...
It's like you're married to your mom.
As Bundle of Joy 🙂 recently wrote, when will your life belong to YOU?
That is up to you.
Until then, the two of you will continue to be like an old, bickering married couple...
She'll continue sucking years out of your life. She's not thinking about what is best for YOU.
The room she's stuck in is the room with the office supplies and box of blank envelopes and she watched me do everything. I didn't have too much of a choice. I did put my foot down regarding the 2nd envelope and she let it go.
I should also note she doesn't like how I staple things or how I'll paperclip things. I opt to have the staples going horizontal and she wants them going on the diagonal. I mean, does it make THAT much of a difference?
Why, oh why do they get like this?!?!
Maybe it's natures why so we are not so heartbroken. 🤔🤷
I then filled out the 2nd one. Everything was positioned to her liking, but got on me for my handwriting. She said my Ss looked like squiggles and they didn't look anywhere close to that. It was perfectly legible, but that didn't stop the criticism and like she did the other night following her criticism of writing her cheat sheet, she went on about italic calligraphy and had me google italic calligraphy. I have perfect handwriting. It's not like I have chicken scratch for handwriting. Plus, the insurance people aren't gonna care about my handwriting on the envelope. All they want is the check inside the envelope.
Stuff like that is why you have cases of adult children completely cutting off their parents and going NC with them.
“You can’t build with someone who isn’t trying to help you carry the bricks.”
"When does your life belong to YOU?"
🥰 “Hang in there. It is astonishing how short a time it can take for a very wonderful thing to happen.”
1. Wanting stuff
2. Accumulating stuff
3. Getting rid of stuff
——
🙂🙂 a friend of mine pointed out that this applies to people, too:
The 3 stages of life:
1. Wanting people
2. Accumulating people
3. Getting rid of people
“Sometimes people come into your life and they need to stop doing that.”
“Without freedom of speech, we would not know who the idiots are.”
“Beware of people who are in your circle but not in your corner.”
🥰 “I’m a very nice person, but for you I’ll make an exception.”
Anyways I told her if I do or don't get it, it won't matter, she is still going to need more help, with or without me.
“You can’t build with someone who isn’t trying to help you carry the bricks.”
I told him bottom line, YB has no respect for me and I have no interest in having a relationship with someone that has no respect for me and wants to be glorified.
OB and me are so different in many ways, but we always respect each other.
He understood it, and said yeah he he acts, looks, stands, just like are father. I felt validated and understood. Which is nice!
They don't stop. I block them, I ignore them, I say please stop, and then resorted to saying not nice things. 😆, but nothing stops them, from texting me .
It's almost over! Elections are coming quick. And hopefully tensions will relax.
Mom wanted me to write down some info big enough for her to read on a piece of notebook paper when she calls one agency regarding instructions for lining up a RMD. I do so and I hand it to her. She's looking at it and, her being the creative one, expressed some criticism over me not staying in-between lines and the info taking up more than half of the page. Chances are, she would've been critical had I written everything on individual lines. It was either write big, covering two lines, or only cover half the page. She wasn't getting both. I mean, she wanted the info for her cheat sheet big enough for her to read and I did what she asked of me.
A little later, she tended to a form she got in the mail from our congressman asking for a political donation. She wrote on the form and told him to ask a politician that shall not be named for money instead of her. She said she did it over disagreement over a piece of legislation. I thought it was a classless move and like with a couple of other forms asking for donations she wrote snarky remarks on of late, I did what should've been done the moment we got done looking through the mail the other day and threw it in the trash. I mean, they were gonna get thrown away once they arrived at their campaign locations anyway. And I'm not telling her I threw those things away. She told me she was expressing her opinion and I almost wanted to openly tell her to do it in a way that wasn't classless. There are far, far worser cases of classlessness out there, but still.
She got semi-emotional and told me "I don't get in your business." And I thought to myself "yeah, and you like to drag me into YOUR business and turn YOUR problems into MY problems. Plus, she was talking about some political posts I liked and commented on on FB from long-time friends of hers while we were talking not too long ago, disagreeing with the posts.
Can you say hypocrite?