My mother had a stroke May 2013 affecting her short term memory and cognition. Rehabbed physically and doing well, however due to congestion heart failure she is on a daily diuretic. I've been the caregiver since the stroke, sibs out, whole other topic we won't address. I lost my business and ran thru all $$ caregiving, am now working 3000 miles away to refill coffers and managing care from a distance. Dad was in great shape but this has taken its toll, I have a of girlfriend who is helping my man of 39 years in the care along with a family friend. Things run pretty smooth except mom started having accidents last summer heavily and has to change several times a day. I have her in depends with poise pads but she just goes so it's not holding and they are getting more and more bound to the house. We don't know if it's incontinence, she doesn't remember the feeling of urgency, she's gotten lazy or something else. I've asked cardiologist if we can reduce diuretic, he is reviewing all blood work. I've sent several types of plastic pants to dad to try but so far moms not happy with any and without being there I can't determine if they are uncomfortable due to fit or if she's adverse to the plastic. Trying to explain to her is difficult due to the memory. I'm hoping someone might have experience with some sort of comfortable leak proof panty that can go over the depends and maybe free them up to go out a bit more which will help dads mental health.
Thanks to all...this site is a godsend and I tell anyone who is dealing with caregiving about it. It's literally saved my mental health and life.
God bless all you awesome caregivers. You are all beautiful!!
If mom is under medicated with her diuretic, does she put on water weight in her legs? If so, appearance is everything. If her ankles are skinny, ask the doc if you can cut her dose by 25% and watch her closely. That diuretic no doubt contributes to her incontinence.
I hope you can put out of your mind that she's somehow responsible for her plight. It's not her fault. Nobody wants to pee in their pants.
I will look on the Depends bag for absorbancy, didn't know that, I have them auto shipped.
She is in pull ups AND poise pads at this point, we put the pads inside the pull up.
It's so hard because my mother pre-stroke would have been MORTIFIED!!! I keep thinking she'll get tired of having to change so many times in a day, but I just don't think she remembers. We've tried signs, I even got an alarm that I could record my voice reminding her, but if she left the room it was in......
And she can't remember to take it with her. The short memory/cognition is really devastating....
Thanks for all your suggestions...Bless you all:)
I think your best bet will be to try to help them manage her incontinence better. Checking about the lasix is a good first step. It may be helpful to have her use the toilet at regular intervals, and dad will have to start checking her each time she goes. I can understand them not wanting to go out, but the ultra absorbency products do hold a lot and should allow them to leave the house. Encourage them to get out for short periods at least. And it sounds as though you mom's dementia is more of a problem than either of them admit to you, perhaps it is time to explore more ways to give your dad a break.
And see if your dad can notice if there's a particular time of day when she's overflowing. Pay particular attention to that. For example, my mom takes a diuretic with her morning pills. So I know that until noon, she'll be peeing more, until that diuretic has worked its magic. Maybe clue your dad in to mom's medication schedule and when she has to go, so he can set time timer around those times.
As always thank you all, your all angels with wings