I felt like telling someone.
My grandmother who had alzheimers, was in the hospital and the doctors had given her little hope. (I can't remember all the details but she was very sick)
Long story short. My dad came home and started gathering her insurance policy/etc. I began questioning my dad as to why he was doing this. His reply to me was the doctors told him it was time to start preparing. That the time had come.
I told my dad, "The doctors do not have the final say, God does." I told my dad, "My grandmother was going to live."
Can I tell you that my grandmother lived many years, thereafter.
Just because things may look bad in the physical eyesight, "Don't you lose faith in the one who gives and takes life." He is the one you put your trust in. Not man.
I don't know why I am saying all this but I felt in my heart that it needed to be said.
Be encouraged.
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That is true for anyone that believes.
Thank you for sharing that reminder.
I am sure you were grateful for the many years of your Grandmother, Hailey.
It works so well in every aspect of life.
What I was trying to point out was - My dad was believing what the doctor was saying. That all hope was gone. The doctor was saying, "It was time to say goodbye."
I had Faith in my GOD and I told my dad, "Man don't have the final say."
To God Be All The Glory, My grandmother did a 100 degree turn in that hospital and Praise God, "She lived many years, thereafter."
I LOVE YOU. : )
I often repeat my old Oncologists answer to me when I was battling cancer and asked whether to accept or reject a particular treatment: "Oh, I don't know....... It's anything but an exact science. (I can still see him lean his old style chair back). I can tell you the truth because you are a nurse. The truth is that people expect us to give them answers. So we give them". Usually the Docs can read a case and make the very educated correct guess. But often it is only that, an educated guess.
As to "saying goodbye", I don't believe in it ever. Tell someone you love them, have learned from them, remember everything they have taught you and treasure it. (Tell them that NOW and on the day they are possibly dying)But don't tell them "Goodbye". When my hospice nurse best friend did that to her dying bro, and told him he could go toward the light, he looked up at her with terror as in "Are you saying I am DYING!!" She knew at once it was the wrong thing to say. Some people are NEVER willing to go gently into that good night.
It's such an interesting topic for discussion, really.
Do you know why we are not seeing a move of God like we should? Because of disobedience.
"We have a "form and a fashion" but we deny the power, thereof."
We can always have hope. Some facts can’t be disputed. We are foolish if we disbelieve the inevitable.
Everyone has a right to choose to believe what they feel is true.
Whenever I have been told by a doctor or nurse that someone was dying it happened to be true. I am not telling anyone else what to believe.
I like that Alva said, doctors give answers because it is expected of them even when they really don't have the answer. I personally see death as the greatest mystery of all. There are no experts or "musts" in my opinion.
As for supporting a dying loved one, I guess we just have to pay attention to the signals and try to say and do what will bring the most comfort. No matter what we do it will likely not be perfect but if we let then know we love them and that they are precious to us, maybe that is the best we can do.
To me I think it is the trip of a lifetime. I have seen elders simply "turn their faces to the wall" as the ancient saying goes about death; the poor family struggling to communicate, but they, though they are still there, are involved in something other. Often almost a drug trip sort of concentration even when there are no drugs.
I was involved in CPR on many patients as I worked cardiology. None in my experience saw lights or tunnels, but none were frightened, one knew who did CPR on him, though we entered the room when he had flat lined; he said at once "you and Robin brought me back".
So to me it is a tremendous mystery. I often did see patients let loose of life when they "saw" others who had passed before. Especially remember a man who said "It's OK, my sister has come for me". He had been very frightened of death before that.
I have a friend who has worked hospice most of her career, younger than me, current the DON at a large ALF in my city. Many stories.
I have always been a bit fascinated with death. While an atheist I am in interested in all beliefs, and have read an awful lot about them. Some Buddhists in our hospital sat a sort of vigil for at least 8 hours, at the bedside of their LO; during that time the body was to be undisturbed, and they told me they thought good thoughts to help their LO on their journey from them.
Just so fascinated with the whole thing, myself. I am 78. Have never feared death for a second. Now suffering? THAT I do fear with a stone cold dread. I am so thankful that we have enough medication now usually, to keep people from pain. I never felt sick in my career over blood or gore, but a suffering patient was enough to make me dizzy. Early in my career, before Hospice, there was not enough medication given out of fear the person would die.
As a nurse would you say there are more people that have a stronger will to live over people who are ready to leave emotional and physical pain behind and look forward to transitioning?
I have seen a mix of emotions as people are struggling in a health crisis.
I have seen believers go while non believers lived. I have seen evil people stay while good people go, and the other way around. I have seen those who took all precautions die anyway, and those who did not live. As far as I can see after being in nursing for so many years, and in my 78 years? I think it is like that carnival game where these little tin ducks go round and round in a circle and you shoot at them. You get one down or you don't. That much luck and happenstance. I have in truth seen so many religious folks afraid to die. I can't figure that out if they believe they are heading off to a wonderful heaven. I think I am going to be compost, and am not afraid in the least (tho afraid of SUFFERING before death).
A loving couple waits for years, has a much wanted child and loses it to a gruesome brain tumor. A meth addict who give no care to his child at all gets to keep that child. People say nonsense like "karma". Oh, puleeeeze. I am glad that people who have faith find comfort in it. To me, the world is, as Roger Rosenblatt's article said "A Teeming Slaughterhouse". Pretty much for all animals. We have no idea what other nations go through in terms of want and starvation. We are quite spoiled in America.
I find not much rhyme and reason other than looking at the millions of people, animals and plants that came before us, and the millions who will follow us. We are so much less important than we would like to think ourselves in any grand scheme.
Once I was sitting at the campfire and put my foot down on a whole line of little ants heading for the marshmellows. I said "Whoops"! and tried to save them. And then said "Bet that is God. Massive die off. Whoops". That's just me. Never a believer. Missing the gene. Not a choice. Just never happened. 78. May still, hee hee, right?
In all truth, many many of the very religious, and those with all the answers about which God is right, and what he wants? The ones who believe in a Hell? I honestly wouldn't want to spend 10 minutes with them, let alone an eternity with them. Like I always say about Saints. A real bad job description.
Truly many people are greatly comforted by their belief. I am for ANYTHING that brings comfort to anyone, as long as it doesn't infringe on the rights of others.
Some people don't even need religion to get some wild juju going like you should think positive thoughts or your cancer will kill you! Heck, mine was in 2 nodes and I am still here 34 years later, negative thoughts and all. Negative thinking won't kill you. Cancer will kill you. Viruses will kill you. But negative thoughts? Nah. Let em in and let em back out again. Once a doc, when he asked how I was doing with the cancer and I said "Good so far" said "don't even THINK that" and I said "What, cancer won't kill me but a thought will". Pretty much I encourage people to think whatever they would like as long as they act sweet! I honestly have zero problem with anyone's belief; it is personal to them as their own thumbprint; I hope as well they have no problem with my unbelief, because as I said, it is no choice. I just don't believe.
Yeah, I feel like we have to honor our thoughts but as you say, dismiss what isn’t working.
I don’t think we can control every single thought that we have.
I feel the same. Beliefs are extremely personal to all of us. I believe in the freedom to believe as we wish or not believe in anything at all.
The religion practiced historically in my area, New Orleans has been Roman Catholic due to the French and Spanish settlements.
We have the beautiful St. Louis Cathedral in Jackson Square and many other lovely churches of all denominations.
We have a few synagogues, Buddhist temples and a mosque in the city and outlying metro areas.
Having said that, we also have an eclectic crowd here. Anne Rice grew up here. As you know, she is the author of vampire novels. She has held many vampire balls here. We absolutely have a vampire culture here, quite fun during Halloween season!
New Orleans has it’s history of being a port town. We have a horrible history of slave trading here. Many slaves were bought and sold here. They brought African and Haitian voodoo. There are authentic voodoo temples in the city, not the touristy crap that is peddled.
Then we have the southern folk practice of hoodoo which is similar but different from voodoo.
We also have practicing witches in our city. So it’s quite a mix of beliefs.
Voodoo here incorporated some Catholic beliefs due to being forced by the slave owners to be baptized Catholic. But voodoo was practiced in Congo Square.
I say to each his/her own!
I didn't even know hoodoo was real! I thought it was made up for that movie with Kate Hudson "Skelton Key." That is some scary stuff!!
The media doesn’t usually portray New Orleans or the Acadiana culture accurately. Hoodoo doesn’t believe in using their magic to harm others, neither does voodoo. Occasionally, people will use it for the wrong purpose, in the case of a curse or hex but that isn’t the norm.
Want to hear a funny hoodoo story?
You know who Paul Prudhomme is, right? Famous Cajun chef. He died several years ago. Anyway, he grew up in the Acadiana area of Louisiana. He later moved to New Orleans. Cajuns practice hoodoo.
He was a very large man but when he was a young child he was very thin and sickly. He was Catholic but his parents dabbled in seeking out the folk magic to help him build up an appetite.
God bless Paul, he had a darling sense of humor. He used to say that it worked a little too well. Hahaha, because he always struggled with his weight.
Dr. John, a New Orleans musician grew up Catholic but took up voodoo later in life. His real name was Mac Rebennack but he took the name Dr. John to honor a local voodoo priest.
Coco Robicheaux, (real name was Curtis Arceneaux) another musician was quite eclectic and he was from a Cajun family where he helped his grandmother do rituals in folk magic.
They are both deceased. I loved their music and saw them many, many times!
Amen.
I didn’t mean any disrespect. Just sort of reminiscing. I got distracted. My mind was wondering a bit.
Of course Hailey has a right to her opinion. I will stress "TO HER OPINION". AND her belief. As does everyone.
Hailey also has a right to make HER OWN VOICE heard to me, if she would like me not to comment on this or in fact on ANY future threads of hers, I would be more than happy to honor HER WISHES. Hailey can tell me that here on this thread and I will more than gladly bow away from the thread or from this and any other future threads if that is what she communicates to me.
Moreover I will open my private messaging for 24 hours (only) so that HAILEY can communicate with me in the next 24 hours if that is her wish.
Hopefully, RR, that will address your concerns for Hailey. I trust Hailey to make her own decisions and wishes known.
HaileyBug,
if you would prefer my not commenting on this thread, or even on ANY thread of your own, let me know. . I would happily honor your wishes. I tried to turn on my PM here for 24 hours. Don't see the little message "light" below my name, but hopefully you can message me there, or here. No problems if you wish me not to comment to your posts; I would happily comply. I would prefer to hear that from you, however, rather than someone who may believe she is has your own best interests at heart, but is nevertheless is speaking for you. You take care.
Al
If you feel certain posts are off topic of your intent, feel free to report them to the moderators and I am sure they will be more than happy to remove them since it is not the intent of the thread.
This is a loving and supportive forum. I am sure no one wants to discount your feelings.
If you were miss understood then I apologize for believing that you are a practicing witch.
I still stand by asking you not to hijack a thread giving the glory to God with hoodoo and voodoo.
I did apologize and explain that it was simply a conversation about the unique city that I live in.
We aren’t an ‘anywhere USA’ kind of place. It’s has a diverse belief system due to the history of our region.
People settled in America for the right to have religious freedom without persecution. I respect that.
I certainly wasn’t trying to persuade anyone of any belief system. It has never mattered to me what people believe in or not believe in as long as they don’t harm anyone.
I have never participated in any of those practices. I have never had a desire to.
I was raised in the Roman Catholic Church which only accepts the Trinity, Father, Son and Holy Spirit with Jesus Christ as our Lord and Savior.
I feel our own personal faith is an extremely personal decision for all of us.