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By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
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Mom was diagnosed with dementia and is in a nursing home waiting to be put in their dementia unit. One of my siblings is totally against it. How do we cope with the sibling?
Also while I am talking about it between how my sibling feels and having my mom in a nursing home I am feeling a tremendous amout of guilt. In 2008 she suffered a stroke she came home (she lives with my wife and I) and we took care of her In 2010 she fell and broke her hip, she rehabbed and came home and we took care of her but with dementia the doctors say it will never get better and the cost for 24/7 home health care is something we or my other siblings can not afford. The guilt eats me up inside and my stomach does flip flops. Some days are ok and I know I am doing the rigfht thing but other days (like right now) my stomach is in knots. Any suggestions? Thanks!
What does the sibling who is totally against it think is a better solution?
Frankly, I'm totally and completely against dementia, but that doesn't seem to stop it from happening.
I'm totally against persons with dementia reaching a point where they cannot safely be cared for at home. But being against it doesn't stop it from happening.
So, when dementia happens, and when it progresses to a point where at-home care is not feasible, what does you sibling favor as a good alternative? Thousands of caregivers would love to have that answer!
mistermet - please don't beat yourself up. It sounds like you have been her caregiver for quite a while and are much more aware of your mom's health and needs than your siblings. If this sibling is totally against putting her in a NH, then let your mom go live with her and she can become her caregiver. It won't take but a couple of weeks (if that long) before this sibling changes their mind. It's easy to criticize when they're on the outside looking in and not the one having to deal with it. I had siblings doing this to me and my husband while caring for my mother-in-law who eventually developed Dementia. They didn't want to help, but wanted things done differently. We finally had to tell them that unless they were willing to help with her care, then we will care for her how we feel best. Needless to say, they backed off. You're going to have to toughen up and realize that you are doing right thing and what you think is best for your mom and that's all you can do. Caregiving is extremely hard by itself - much less adding criticism and Dementia. It might be best if you consult an elder attorney and get Medical Power of Attorney on your mom so these siblings cannot reek havoc on your caretaking and that way the nursing home will only have to follow your instructions for her care. Good luck!!
I can relate to you as far as the sibling being against your decision, although my situation is different, cause I've cared for my mom for 6 yrs. she has dementia. my oldest sister wanted her in a nursing home. I've been certified in home health care for 15 yrs. I moved her in with me, so since I had been caring for her part time with my agency, when the doctor decided she needed 24hr care, the agency gave her to me permanently as my one and only client. which really teed my sister off. the other 2 siblings were all for me taking care of our mom, and getting paid. I don't know what state you are in, but all states should have the program AREA AGENCY ON THE AGED. it's a program that will send a home health aid into your home for how ever many hours she qualify for. if you want to keep her in your home you can contact them. her medicare pays for it. I feel you when you say you get sick to your stomach, cause I would too if I couldn't care for my mom. she's 96, and I want to make her comfortable at this time of her life.
I understand your pain. I am currently in the same position. Mom is in rehab right now but I am seeking nursing home care for her. The only thing I can do is see that she goes to the best care facility she can afford and visit often enough to see she is getting good care. Your sibling wants someone to blame about her Mom's condition and, unfortunately, that is you. I have six brothers and sisters and they spend more time fighting and blaming me than helping. I would gladly turn her care over to them if they would take it. Hang in there. My prayers are with you.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Frankly, I'm totally and completely against dementia, but that doesn't seem to stop it from happening.
I'm totally against persons with dementia reaching a point where they cannot safely be cared for at home. But being against it doesn't stop it from happening.
So, when dementia happens, and when it progresses to a point where at-home care is not feasible, what does you sibling favor as a good alternative? Thousands of caregivers would love to have that answer!