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Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
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As a 56 yr old male caregiver to my mother. I would never allow this not bathing. That's just not an option. Its a health concern as much as a "bad odor". I allow mom to do as much as she can (her pvts etc) but the areas she cannot do- I wash etc. I make it as comfortable as possible and as fast as possible without being rushed. Warm bathroom, clothes ready towels ready etc. If and when I can ot do this any longer I will enlist an aide or someone who can. Hygiene is a must. I'm sorry you are going through this but masking and pacifying is not going to work.
Well said, Lwayne. Masking and pacifying does not work. Daily hygiene care is a must not just because it's gross when someone smells and is dirty, but because it's a health hazard to them too.
I couldn’t accept the refusal and I couldn’t sleep in a room with it. I’d hire a bath aide who’s experienced in the “tricks of the trade” and make it happen
Products to mask the stench is not the solution. Finding out WHY your spouse refuses to bathe for weeks IS. Dementia is the most common reason. A full medical and cognitive exam is in order here.
Air Freshner only masks the order. I would find a way to get this person in a shower. Don't ask. My daughter, RN, tries to make her residents think they have made the decision. "Mrs Smith, wouldn't it be nice to feel fresh and clean and have clean fresh clothes" Hopefully, they say yes.
Is your shower/tub easily accessible? If a tub, there are bars that go over the side. There are handle type bars you can buy that have suction to fit on the wall. A shower chair is good. Handheld shower head a plus. Water warm not hot. The bathroom warm. I used a portable heater to get Moms warmed up.
If you do the washing, suds up real good using a bath spong or puff and then use the shower head to rinse. For private areas, I just had Mom stand up, facing the wall and holding onto the rail, placing her legs apart, I usedva washcloth with soap to clean the rectum area and then used the shower head to rinse the area and the vigina area, I never used soap there. I had a handtowel on the toilet seat and had her sit down there so I could dry her off. I dressed her in the bathroom where it was warm.
In ALs and nursing homes, residents are bathed 2x a week. There are wipes that can be used for in between. Mom has a BO problem so between baths I would wash her underarms and put on deoderant.
Maybe you can see if there is an aide willing to bath ur LO. Sometimes they are willing to let someone else help.
Actually, if I get to that point, I hope that my Final Exit is imminent! I'm big on cleanliness so it would be a HUGE issue for me if either me or my husband were unable to maintain basic personal hygiene.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
I'm sorry you are going through this but masking and pacifying is not going to work.
If you are unable to care for a senior to the extent that you cannot get him or her to bath or to allow bathing then it is time to consider placement.
Is your shower/tub easily accessible? If a tub, there are bars that go over the side. There are handle type bars you can buy that have suction to fit on the wall. A shower chair is good. Handheld shower head a plus. Water warm not hot. The bathroom warm. I used a portable heater to get Moms warmed up.
If you do the washing, suds up real good using a bath spong or puff and then use the shower head to rinse. For private areas, I just had Mom stand up, facing the wall and holding onto the rail, placing her legs apart, I usedva washcloth with soap to clean the rectum area and then used the shower head to rinse the area and the vigina area, I never used soap there. I had a handtowel on the toilet seat and had her sit down there so I could dry her off. I dressed her in the bathroom where it was warm.
In ALs and nursing homes, residents are bathed 2x a week. There are wipes that can be used for in between. Mom has a BO problem so between baths I would wash her underarms and put on deoderant.
Maybe you can see if there is an aide willing to bath ur LO. Sometimes they are willing to let someone else help.
No unbathed spouse-in-the-house.
No playing games about hygiene. Its either be showered (or at least washed up) and clea clothes daily or it's placement in a care facility.
You know, when a person gets to the point where they are refusing to be clean that's usually when it's time for nursing home/memory care placement.
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