What if the facility my parents are living in put them in independent, when they really need to be in assisted and they won't listen to me? They both have alzheimers and are declining, refusing to take meds, wandering from time to time, these are major signs to me, but no one will listen!
My first reaction was if the staff where they are is not responsive, move. However this is not, obviously, at all easy. If the community does not have a way to ensure your parent's security then a move may be in order in any event.
I would request an appointment with the Executive Director and the Director of Nursing together. I would avoid engaging in antagonistic language or tone. I would ask them point blank if they have the interest and/or, more importantly, the capacity, to ensure your parents well being and safety and see what they have to say.
You will then be able to make your decision.
This may not be just a case where you need to be more assertive. There are so many changes coming down the pike with Health Care Reform that many Nursing Homes, Assisted Living Facilities and Independent Living centers are literally sitting on their hands before responding to changing senior benefits. Making the wrong business decision during these times could literally send an Institution into bankruptcy. Unfortunately, for those seniors with early stage Alzheimer's or Dementia, the specialized care they need cannot wait for HC Reform or a new business model for Institutional care. I assume that when your parents moved into the Independent Living facility they/you had to sign a legal contract defining the conditions for remaining in the Independent area vs upgrading to Assisted Living or other alternatives offered by the Institution. Get a copy of that agreement and, if possible, have it reviewed by an Elder Law attorney or someone who specializes in Contract Law in your state. The last thing your parents need right now is to be excluded (think "evicted") from this facility because they do not meet the requirements for the next stage of care offered there and are placed on the bottom of a waiting list for another Institution that does offer such care. Whatever you do, make sure you have an Advocate who represents you and your parents. Anyone the Institution provides will likely be biased even though they may appear to have your best interest at heart. As you learn more about the complexity of Senior Care, please return to this site and give us an update. You are not alone in this problem. We have all gone through it too and are here to help.
I don't see any reason why they wouldn't assist you other than the fact that they don't have any assisted living apartments/rooms. You need to ask them. My sister-in-law put
my m-i-l in an assisted living facility, but it took years before one was available. I would think once your parents were in there, in any sort of living situation, it would be as soon as one or two were available. My s-i-l got called so much from the assisted living facility that she ended up moving her. I know that cannot
always be an option for people, but you need to sit down with the person who oversees the patients (the title escapes me now)
and find out what's what. If necessary, have them write it down.
Could it be a price factor? I have no idea. You just need to sit down with the Administrator or whatever title that person holds and have them clear it up for you.
Good luck.