Dad has type 2 diabetes, has been in the hospital twice within 2 weeks, had a stroke which he fully recovered from but mom is refusing to give him care. She hasn't picked up his meds in 6 months, won't get a test kit to test his blood sugar, gives him candy and high sugar foods, refused the ambulance to take him to the hospital after he had a stroke when his sugar was at 600. Their Dr. is furious. At their last appointment he told her she is incapable of caring for herself or him. His sugar was back to 600 and he was very lethargic barely awake. Dr. suggested assisted living. She refused. He then strongly suggested a home health care nurse to provide their meds every day and test his sugar. She reluctantly agreed. After the nurse came for the interview she told mom she can refuse the care if she doesn't want it! She did. The nurse called the Dr. and he is 1000% behind helping dad. How can she refuse? Isn't that an abusive caregiver? What options are out there?
But yet he can't pick up his meds (from the pharmacy? So we'll assume he can't drive or walk that far?), he can't take his own blood sugar (so he can't move his hands or fingers to operate the glucometer or see well enough to use the machine?) Does he have dementia?
Why would he accept candy if he knows he's diabetic? Why would your mother GIVE him candy KNOWING that it could cause diabetic coma and death?
I was wondering along the same lines as Bob about your mother possibly wanting to do him in.
Your dad clearly needs intervention immediately. Even if you have to physically take your dad and admit him (with his permission) to an Assisted Living Facility and privately pay for the first month, it will save your father's life.
Too bad for your mom (at this point). It's all about your dad's health right now.
After he is settled in, have your mother get a psychiatric evaluation.
Unless your father has been legally declared incompetent, I'm pretty sure he is in charge of making his own medical decisions.
I don't see how your mom can rightfully deny all of these things for him, when it is not her choice.
Personally, if it were my father, I would move him in with me and take care of him.
Best of luck to you.
If your Mom is not forcing these foods down his throat he willingly eats the candy and stuff, it is his choice, even though he knows the outcome of that behavior.
Have you tried lovingly talking with both of them about your concern and how much you love them and want to have them around as long as possible?
Are you able to pick up meds and check in to make sure they take them?
I know it is difficult to be in your situation, rely upon the Lord and pray about it. And do whatever you can to be helpful, and encouraging to them. But really they have to choose to change their behaviors you cannot force them, it will not go well. Best wishes, hope it is resolved soon for you.
Where are you? It's been 5 days and we only have your original post.