My SIL is on Medicaid and has been in a LTC facility for over 18 months. We know she is mentally unstable and manipulative, and we work hard to separate ourselves from her to preserve our mental and fiscal health. But she is claiming her facility is abusing her, she is in constant pain and is not getting even minimal care. She lives 2000 miles away in NY. We are only wanting to make sure her care is meeting standards, by no mean do we expect anything more than legal minimums. How do go about learning this without being brought into her everyday drama. And if she does need to be moved, how do we help initiate that?
If the facility is not meeting these regulations then you call the NYS Ombudsman found on the NYS DOH website.
I am in NYS and also my uncles Healthcare proxy and MPOA. The SW assigned to him must give status updates at request. She also encourages a bi-monthly or quarterly meeting (can even be via Teams or Zoom depending on personal health information criteria safety) to discuss any declines or progress medically and socially.
That would be the person who will be required really to travel to your sister's facility.
That would be the person who would discuss all this with the administration of the facility.
I think that the everyday care of someone with severe mental deficits is not only difficult, but it is an absolute crucible. Not only that, but managing care and intervening, even if you live right there, is next to impossible given the notoriously unreliable reporter that the mentally ill almost always are.
I will be honest with you. You are 2,000 miles away.
Not everything can be fixed or made perfect and that is definitely the case LIFELONG for someone with severe mental deficits.
There is NO WAY to check for the veracity of what you are hearing.
The POA may wish to discuss the possibility of cameras in the room that can be monitored by one family member.
Other than my advice above I have not a CLUE of what you might do, other than drive your OWN self just crazy with all of this.
And have you tried calling the facility to get their side of the story?
If your SIL is mentally unstable and manipulative, I can only venture to guess that even if you were to move her, that the same or at least similar issues would continue at the new facility.
i don't know how much the facility will be able to share with us. We sent them a letter letting them know she has family and requesting rehab and increased care. We are hesitant to ask for hippa consent from her. As this might drag us In Too deep