Stress and lack of sleep does some weird things. I'd like to hear of health problems that caregivers can develop.
Of course there's back issues that can arise from picking someone up off the floor, and weight gain from trying to get them to eat. But, I'm wondering about other less obvious things that the cumulative effects of stress and and lack of sleep can cause. I mention lack of sleep because I don't really allow myself too much deep sleep. I'm always aware of when my wife gets up and wanders through the house.
Last November I came down with Bell's Palsy. Reading Pubmed papers lists of possible causes, two things jumped out at me, shingles virus and lack of sleep. My wife had shingles a couple of months before that. Now 10 months later I'm still left with a couple of residual effects from it, about 90-95% recovered.
So I'm wondering what other maladies should I be aware of so I can watch for warning signs.
Oh, the Bell's Palsy warning sign was a strong pain right behind my ear for 2 days before the paralysis set in. BP is an inflammation of the 7th cranial nerve which exits the skull right behind the ear and comes up over the ear and runs to several places on your face.
-Depression and anxiety
-Weight gain/loss
-Digestive issues/stomach issues (like GURD and acid reflux)
-Heart disease and high blood pressure from the constant stress
-Weakened immune system
-Triggers auto-immune diseases
-Addiction (alcohol, drugs, abusing food, gambling, etc...)
-Reckless and dangerous behavior
I compared living with my mother and being her caregiver to being in a P.O.W. camp. It's psychological torture. A person can't live in a constant state of anxiety waiting for the other shoe to drop. Or be verbally, emotionally, and psychologically abused every day because it will destroy them. It also creates the perfect conditions for caregiver abuse.
In my situation I knew where it was going. I had to get out of it or the caregiving would have ended in tragedy for one or both of us.
No one should ever have a moment of guilt for needing to place a person and stop being a caregiver.
If that doesn't scare you I don't know what will, and it only emphasizes the importance of caregivers taking good care of themselves.
Your profile says that your wife has vascular dementia, and as I'm sure you already know, that is the most aggressive of all the dementias with a life expectancy of just 5 years. It also sounds like you've taken good care of her thus far and even yourself, with getting help in from not only your daughter but others as well so you can get away, and I'm glad to hear that, as you matter too in this equation.
Your journey won't be as long as some others whose loved ones have Alzheimer's as that can go on for 20+ years, so hopefully you can continue to handle your stress best you can.
I know when I was caring for my late husband who also had vascular dementia, the thing that bothered and affected me most was the lack of sleep we both got while his incontinence was out of control and before he got his permanent catheter. He was a fall risk and was getting up every hour to pee, so I would have to go with him or get up to hold the urinal for him, as he only had use of one arm and that arm had essential tremors in it.
I was running on empty and at my wits end. I wouldn't wish that on anyone. Plus I am a stress eater, so I did put on some weight during the last few years of my husbands life, but thankfully have since taken that off.
I did however understand the importance of trying best I could to take care of myself, and even if it just meant running to the grocery store to get away for a bit was extremely helpful. But of course I did lunch or supper with friends, went to church, or just sat outside on our patio.
The thing that helped me the most though(other than God)was my in person caregiver support group as there is NOTHING better than getting to share with others that know exactly what you're going through, and are there to give you a hug when you need one. My support group literally saved my life.
I wish you the very best as you travel this very difficult road with your wife.
Chest pains , heart attacks , stroke , even cancer .. mental health problems , stomach ulcers etc .
Reducing the stress to prevent problems is better than waiting until they happen .,
Actually if you have a family history of any autoimmune diseases. Stress can bring them on. Like diabetes for one.
And burnout causes carelessness and recklessness. I fell caring a end table, I should of never been caring. I just didn't care.
I took a dive in the driveway last night while chasing deer out of my ‘sanity garden’. Honestly, that’s the only place I can go where I feel like I have any control. Even the wildlife around here is trying to ruin me!
oftentimes it forces us to make positive changes.
If we care for person with long progressive diseases like dementias we must make decisions which will include safety for both.
And no guilt.
I think guilt is the biggest stressor.
Word “guilty”should be removed from caregiving vocabulary. As we did not cause this or other disease. We cannot cure it.
Acceptance is paramount.
Often there is nothing absolutely nothing we can do to change anything.
migraines
body aches & pains
stress
problems sleeping
anxiety & depression
extreme fatigue
recently diagnosed with Fibromyalgia
Try and get as close to 8 hours of sleep as you can. My mum, strong healthy woman, aged about 10 years in the 3 years she took care of my father. She is not the same person now. Never got a full night of sleep and that was the part she found the hardest.
My advice is sleep as much as you can (get door alarms, night sitters etc) and go for brief walks whenever you can, even if just 10 mins around the block. Both lower the effects of the stress and fend of the depression. Eat well and watch comedies. Think prevention as becoming sick when you are caregiving is a whole new nightmare.
My mother took care of my quadriplegic sister for 50 years now has severe Parkinson’s with dementia. I have serious health problems from caregiving my sister since I was 10, it does wear on you.
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