Sadly, this site is filled with caregivers whose siblings couldn't/wouldn't help care for parents in need. For those who cared for their parents while dealing with absentee siblings, how is your relationship with your sibling(s) now?
This is on my mind because we just had the one year anniversary of my MIL's passing and no communication between my husband and his brother. Hubby had a good conversation with his sister that day but didn't care to reach out to his brother or hear from him.
Aunt, haven't heard from her at all, even though mom was always there for her sister.
that was the topping on the cake for me.
first my dad died, than three weeks my mom passed. it was hard. very hard taking care of two people who couldn't feed themselves, wore diapers, dementia and many other health issues.. they both died in my arms.
no sisters came to the wake and or funeral but guess what? the next day after we buried my mom one of my sisters called my moms house and asked me what my parents left them in their will , talk about nerve. I said. they did for you what you did for them NOTHING. you got nothing. and I hung up....
my ex sisters never called again and needless to say I will never call them...
to treat your parents as they did after they brought you into this world, loved you and help you through many issues in all of your lives , is in my mind unforgiveable.....
I consider myself the only child...........
I went no contact with my brother a few years ago and no matter what he is never welcome back into my life. Hugs to you.
Why in turn did my brothers refuse to help, when there was no money to be gained and our mom was going, fast? Oh sure, there were gestures, a towel-rack bought and screwed into the wall of the house I bought for her, a full minute or even two spent listening about afib, esophageal stricture, stenosis, but there were no thousands of hours and dollars spent keeping her independent, consulting with her doctors so that she could continue painting her lovely pictures.
She asked us to be nice to each other, meaning I should forgive his wrongs, but now that she's gone and he's accused me of having a "martyr complex", I'm done with him. I know what I know. I'm not deaf, and I'm not dumb or blind either.
There is no relationship with my sibling. Sibling let me know they couldn't help anymore and went on a vacation during house clean out and hasn't been back. I do not ask for their help because this person does not help. Yes, it is hard to accept because sibling is a PA and could help with doctors and medical decisions but sibling told me they weren't going to help and after asking at least a 1000x for help and getting nothing I don't ask anymore and have no contact. I am not anticipating any involvement from any extended family because there are very few family relationships left. It is sad that these people drive past the ALF almost everyday and never stop to visit or call my parents. I guess some people consider them to be dead. My parents are not the easiest to be around and many times I have to honor myself and leave when they get mean. My husband is very loving and supportive and I could not do this with out him.
I’m only suggesting this because I was in the same situation doing the caregiving but sibling had medical & financial POA & blocked me out completely..